A letter of translation from a Spanko wife to her Vanilla Husband.

My Darling Husband,

I love you more than life itself. I appreciate you efforts to take me in hand, per my previous request.

But I still get a feeling that you don’t quite understand my needs. So I will try to explain it to you in Analytical / Engineering terms.

Here is a brief list of comments or emotions that you may see or hear from me in the future; along with a translation of what each comment really means.

1.  “Yeah, I’m fine,” (sigh) “I’m just tired”. 

Translation  – “I’m a little down. Please spank me.”

2.  “Grr, I took out the (YOUR JOB!) garbage. Humph, grumble. 

Translation  –  “I’m crabby and resentful. Spank me, dang it!”

3.  “Mmm, honey. The kids went to bed early. Want to play Xena, the bad warrior Princess?”  Translation –  “I am horny. Love me, then spank me. Not necessarily in that order.”

4.  “I am so stressed out… PMS… trip out of town… kids… stress…etc..” 

Translation –  “For the love of Pete, would you frickin spank me already?!? And don’t stop until I have either passed out from the pain, you have broken at least four implements on my backside, or I am sobbing uncontrollable and begging you to stop!” (flush, stammer) “I mean, I could really use a stress reliever. Please help me out.”

I hope this helps.  Please let me know if you have any questions or concerns.  FYI, I have opened up a credit card at www.caneiac.com.  I have already spent , ahem , a little money on the site.

Translation –  “I have been very naughty again. “

-Your loving wife,

Translation – Your loving wife who is desperately in need of a spanking


10 thoughts on “A letter of translation from a Spanko wife to her Vanilla Husband.

  1. Ana

    LOL! I’m not sure you really want to give him this. There are quite a few people who would tell you to be careful what you wish for. 😀

  2. krblake

    Lol. Though I agree with Ana, your character should be careful what she wishes for. He may be vanilla now, but if he loves her enough to wander out of his comfort zone, she’s going to be in a world of hurt.

  3. Corinne (Sassy Chassy)

    I LOVE this letter! I got a huge kick out if it! It’s so true! I even read it to my husband. I thought it was good insight into a DD spankos head! LOL


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