**Disclaimer: The following post is metaphorical. I am not calling women animals. I am just using my inner poet to describe some of my feelings about my relationship. **
I am a young thoroughbred horse, borne of excellent lineage, with true potential for greatness. But my mane is matted, and dirty, unkempt if you will. My sleek, powerful lines, have yet to be formed through hard work and training. My behavior is unruly, spirited, and sometimes, disrespectful.
I long for firm, loving guidance, to show me my boundaries. I need to be trained and pushed to my limits, so I can be the best that I can be. Without this, I am unfulfilled, and depressed, which leads me to lash out against those I love.
A real horse training session is called “being broken”. I do NOT need to be broken, but rather bent, manipulated, and formed. The magnificent equine who has been broken in properly, will take her rider places, he has never been before. She will protect him, love him, and follow his orders. Her submission is a gift to her rider, which she can take back at a moment’s notice. If her rider treats her poorly, or abuses her, she will most likely dump him on his rear end, and try to bite him. She will attack when cornered. She is not a coward, or a weak, or lesser being. She has power in her, that when tapped into properly, can bring both her and her rider through the greatest of adventures.
The thoroughbred needs to be loved, and respected for her abilities. She needs to be trusted to do her job. And she needs to trust that her rider will care for her. She is strong willed, and may not see the dangers lurking around her.
Her rider needs to keep her safe from the dangers of toxic environments, and sometimes needs to protect her from herself. The rider’s job is to create and enforce these boundaries, to keep her safe, even from herself. Sometimes, the most damage she can sustain is from her own actions.
The horse and his rider make a fierce partnership, which can fight against any evil in the world. The rider needs his thoroughbred to make the longer journeys without becoming fatigued. He uses his horse’s keen sense of direction to keep him on the right path. He shares her determination to finish the tasks at hand. Without her, the rider is lost and empty. Directionless.
The thoroughbred needs to trust that her rider will always care for, and protect her. She can do many great things by following his orders, and staying in the confines of his structure. She feels beautiful when the rider lavishes his attention on her, grooming her to be the exquisite creature that was buried deep beneath her mangled mane and dirty coat. When he affirms her with his words, and strokes her lovingly, she glows inside and out. Without her rider, she is unkempt, rebellious, and does not exhibit her true beauty.
The thoroughbred and the rider need each other. One is not better than the other. They just have different jobs, and different strengths and weaknesses.
Sometimes, I feel like the young thoroughbred. I want my rider to train me, and bring out the beauty and strength that lies just under my surface.
I promise I won’t bite.