Round Table Discussion – week 1- Intro


I am so excited to be participating in a new feature over on the Spanking Romance Review Blog! An ongoing Round Table Discussion pertaining to hot button issues of the spanking community! Every two weeks we will discuss a new topic that is near and dear to the spanking community’s heart. After you read this blog head on over to SRR’s blog to see our debut post and find the links to the other participant’s responses!

And don’t forget to check out the other fantastic submissions by Renee Rose, Casey McKay, Natasha Knight, and Corinne Alexander.


This week’s set of questions is about the origin of our spanking desires, and the transition from fantasy to reality.


For those of you that don’t know me, my name is Katherine Deane.

I’m in a Domestic Discipline relationship with my husband of 15 years.

And I’m a Spanko.

I brought up DD to my husband, about a year and a half ago, because it felt like my last resort to save my marriage. I desired the communication and support. I needed the discipline. I wanted to be spanked.

It took us a while to really get comfortable with this new dynamic. It’s a bit of a long story, so I’ll leave it for another time.  But I am happy to say, we have finally hit a groove.

His taking over as HOH has helped us tremendously.  We don’t argue over stupid stuff anymore, because it’s impossible to argue with someone who is going to paddle your backside when you roll your eyes at him. (I have not improved much in the skillset of respectful communication. But I’m diligently working on it.  😉 )

The biggest issue in my new life, is my confliction over my spanking desires.

I love being spanked! (Well, not all the time. Punishments actually do hurt my feelings as well as my bottom.)

But I still yearn for it.

A good, hard, bare bottom spanking, turns me on.

It arouses me to just think about it.

Sometimes, I watch videos of women getting spanked, and I become so aroused I take my desires to my sleeping husband. (He wakes up kind of grumpy. I get a few swats out of it occasionally, and get both itches scratched. Mmmm, it’s wonderful.)

But it confuses me.

Spankings are supposed to be used for disciplinary purposes in DD.  And I have spent a lot of time over his knee, over the bed, leaning up against the wall, you name it… NOT being disciplined… enjoying every stinging, burning swat.

It’s taken me a while, to get over the fact that there is no black and white. There is no line.

I was actually more embarrassed to come out as a Spanko (online only J ), then it was for me to admit to being in a DD relationship.

But after reading some really great authors, meeting some awesome new spanking friends (especially, the women in this circle), and learning to be open about my desires, I came to the following conclusion:

It’s ok to not fit into the round hole.

I am happier now that I have embraced my true self, instead of fighting and shunning it.

I am a submissive in a husband – led, DD relationship.

I am a strong, sensual woman who loves my HOH.

And, I am a Spanko.

Thanks for stopping by!



Please feel free to leave your own comments. And stop by and visit SRR and the other great participants!

13 thoughts on “Round Table Discussion – week 1- Intro

  1. Corinne Alexander

    Wow, I have such goosebumps reading your story! I cannot begin to express how glad I am that you are feeling comfortable in your own skin. That is so important. Our desires are nothing to be ashamed of. Weather it be the erotic desire of spanking or the sternness of a good hard spanking from a caring hoh both are not only acceptable but to be celebrated & valued because they are a part of who you are!

    1. katherinedeane Post author

      Thanks so much, Corinne!
      You know that you were a huge part of it. Your kind words, and loving support over this past year, have given me the confidence to open up more, and embrace my differences, as scary as it seems. Because I know that I have the love and support of friends like you.

      Luv ya, my friend!

  2. Casey McKay

    Did you really turn to DD as a last resort to save your marriage? I don’t think I knew that. Thank you so much for sharing!
    From a fellow square peg, I say who needs round holes? (I feel like that sounded dirty, and for once I was not intending to be dirty, LOL)

    1. katherinedeane Post author

      Honestly, I was a mess, this past few years. I’ll go into more details some other time. But I was easily agitated, depressed, angry…

      I lashed out at him, because he was the safest person to safely push. And it wasn’t fair to him or us.

      I wanted him to stop me, when I “short circuited”. I desperately needed him to not walk away like my father always did. I needed him to tell me that he still loved me, and would never leave me.
      And I pushed even harder.

      Scary, huh?

      Then I found DD, and Corinne on a web group. I knew in my heart that it was what I needed to stop me from hurting myself. Because everything I said and did to him , came back in triple force.

      Wow, I hadn’t meant to go into such detail at this point. I’m even tearing up, thinking about how much we almost lost, and how huge of a deal this relationship is to me and us.

      DD may not be for everybody.
      But at this point in my life, when I am still working through old issues, I need his support and strength. And I need his touch.
      Spankings and DD together have saved us.

      Sorry, I didn’t mean to get so wordy. 🙂

      1. Casey McKay

        This is why I love this new discussion thing. I’m learning so much! Thank you for opening up. I am glad that you are finding an ebb and flow that works for you. It’s great that you could figure out what you needed and then ask for it.
        You don’t have to apologize for being wordy with me 🙂

  3. Corinne Alexander

    You are an amazing woman, Katherine! Your husband is lucky to have you just as you are lucky to have him! Never forget that. Remember that you were in touch enough with yourself to seek this out. Now that is a mighty strong woman!

  4. reneeroseauthor

    Yes, square pegs unite! I love your story and I”m glad you’re accepting yourself as you are, just like I”m learning to do. And I love you. 🙂


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