Spanking Round Table- The DD Relationship as it Ages

I am so glad Patricia Green is hosting this month’s Spanking Round Table. She combines her wisdom, experiences, and creativity to come up with awesome discussions! Today’s posts are going to be very interesting.

round table blank graphic

When I started thinking about my post, I worried that I might not have much to contribute. Hubby and I have only been doing LDD for a few years now.  We are both in our early 40’s, have been married for fifteen years, and are firm believers of equal rights between sexes.

But we do have a division of labor:

  • I work from home, and help raise our children.  He works outside the home.
  • I clean the house. He does the edging and trimming, and anything involving bugs, spiders or really high ladders.
  • We talk about our goals and plans together.
  • But he makes the final decisions. And I submit to those decisions. (usually without any resentment )

So how did we get from former military officers (I even outranked him for a few months! 🙂 ) to the clearly delineated roles we have today?

Kicking and screaming, of course!!

LOL, I’m kind of kidding.

Kind of.

In all seriousness, my husband tried to take charge of certain aspects of our relationship, over the years. But I always fought it.

Tooth and nail.

If he suggested I clean up the kitchen, I would roll my eyes, and insinuate (most passive aggressively) that he do it himself.

If he had even DARED to suggest submission or discipline, ten years ago, I would have called him a ton of very unkind words, and would have filled his shoes with the gross stuff our dogs left in the back yard.

A lot has changed in the past five years.  We have grown. I have grown.

LOL, I saw this picture, and had to share it! It’s so me! 🙂

housewife_ dust under rug

Several years ago, I accepted the fact that I wanted to not only be a homemaker, but that I wanted to serve my husband.  This was not very politically correct, but it was still something I wanted to do.

I also discovered my other side- my spanko nature.  Even though it made me nervous to express my needs for dominance, and for boundaries, I truthfully explained it to him.  And he accepted the role that I had been fighting for years.

I realized that submitting to him did not make me weak.  He realized that being the HOH (Head of Household) , meant greater responsibility and greater potential for love.

We have had our ups and downs, as we have grown into our roles. But we have come so far in the past two years, that I feel truly blessed to have a husband willing to enter this relationship with me.

LDD is not for everyone.

And it wasn’t for me, ten years ago.

But the maturity and trust that grew within us over the years, enabled us to try this new adventure.

Today, I am a homemaker and submissive wife, who loves and thrives in her duties.  My husband laughed when I showed him this part.  Ok, being at peace in my relationship and duties, doesn’t mean I have a consistently  ‘Pollyanna’ attitude.  I have been known to get a bit ornery at times. 🙂

But here is what I know:

When I lose control or over-react to a situation, I know that my husband will help me. He protects me from myself.  He sets boundaries. He empowers me with a firm push when I am feeling down.  And sometimes, he spanks me.

I am not sure where we will be in twenty and thirty years.  I do know that he will be in charge of our relationship, and he will be my lover and protector. I know that he will make the tough decisions, so I don’t have to. And I trust that he will keep me safe.

I hope that we will be more comfortable with experimenting in the bedroom.  Spanking has opened in me a desire to try different things with him, and when he is ready, we will try them out. 🙂

DD, spanking especially, has opened both of us up to some new sexual experimentation.  I hope that we will continue to explore our relationship and our sexual sides as we mature.  He is already more willing to try new things, and I may decide to take his nickname (Mr. Vanilla) away, if he keeps progressing as he has. 🙂

Wow! Who would have thought one little phrase, “I want you to spank me”, could open us up to so much change in our relationship.

Things have changed so much over these past few years. I know the future has even more to offer us, if we keep our minds open and if we are willing to honestly communicate our desires.

I am looking forward to aging gracefully with my dominant husband (who looks even sexier now with his beard and a few greys!), and can’t wait to explore with him.

But for the time being, we are living our relationship one day at a time.

One spanking at a time.


Thanks for coming by!

Please stop by Spanking Romance Reviews, to see the other amazing posts!

And if you want to find your next good read, check out the author interviews and book reviews!

18 thoughts on “Spanking Round Table- The DD Relationship as it Ages

  1. Roz

    Hi Katherine, I really enjoyed reading this. I love how happy you sound and am glad you and your husband are in such a good place.


  2. Tara Finnegan

    I can’t help laughing at what you would have left in his shoes 😀
    This was a great post Katherine. It is amazing how relationships change over the years. I think when you are younger you have an urge to resist anything that seems like authority, but as you get older you realise life needs some structure and boundaries, whether you choose to find that through TTWD or not. Relationships do tend to thrive better when each knows what the other wants or expects, and both want to achieve it together.

    1. katherinedeane Post author

      Thanks, Tara!
      Hehe, our dogs were kind of disgusting. 🙂
      I like the way you explained the structures and boundaries coming with maturity.
      I can honestly say, I have had moments where I have been utterly selfish in our relationship. But the times, we were at our best, were when we really were working as a team.

  3. Cara Bristol

    A beautiful story. Every marriage, if it is going to succeed, grows and changes with the partners. You and your husband have found what works for you, and I think that’s wonderful.

  4. Casey McKay

    I love that you outranked him for a few months! LOL that made me giggle.
    i think it must be hard, especially in society today, if a husband were to approach his wife with DD out of the blue. It seems less intimidating for the wife asking to be spanked.
    I love that you are making it work… do you really call your husband Mr. Vanilla- to his face?? hahaha

    1. katherinedeane Post author

      LOL, Casey. It was fun to pull out in front of his guy friends every once in a while.

      I bet he wanted to spank me, even though he will probably never admit it! 🙂

      I have called him several names to his face, but never anything involving the name “vanilla”. 😉
      Knowing my luck, if I did, it would come back to bite me in the booty. literally. 🙂 hehe

      so for now, it’s all in fun, in blog land.

  5. Maren Smith

    LOL, I loved reading about your kicking and screaming antics. Our relationship started out as DD and yet I’ve felt that way so many times. I also grinned when you said you outranked him for a brief while. I don’t think I could stop myself from whipping that out every now and then. Knowing me, it would probably be in the middle of an argument.

    “Oh yeah?!? Well…remember when I outranked you?…HA! So there!”

  6. Patricia Green

    People definitely change as they get older. What I see about your relationship is that you’re changing together, not growing apart. That is such a wonderful thing! The way you currently have your marriage structured sounds perfect for the both of you, but any good marriage takes compromise from both parties. You have to tinker with it constantly. I’m glad you’ve found a path you can take comfortably together.

    1. katherinedeane Post author

      Thanks, Trish!
      You are so right about the compromise and structure.
      We’re definitely taking it one step at a time.
      But it is really cool to look back and see the difference between now, and a few years ago, when it was one step forward, two steps back.

      Ah, I guess that is part of our growth.

  7. Natasha Knight

    Hi Dear, I love this: “Wow! Who would have thought one little phrase, “I want you to spank me”, could open us up to so much change in our relationship.” So true so true!

    In many ways we are very similar and in some ways we are not – ok, you can say that about anyone – but in the end, I think we’re both pretty strong women who want to submit even if at times we are unable to. I’m curious to watch you both over the coming years and look forward to sharing this time together. So happy to have you in my life.



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