I’m about to share a rather embarrassing moment, from last weekend.
This probably won’t instill a bunch of “Wow, this woman has such grace and integrity” thoughts in many, but it is the truth, and it gave me a new thought about our DD relationship.
It’s probably no surprise to hear that I am a bit of a “spanko”.
Yes, words like bare bottom, belt, paddle, squirming, thrashing, over the knee, howling, and spank, get me going worse than Casey McKay in a lingerie shop (with a BOGO free sale)!
I’ve also explained before, that I am in a Domestic Discipline relationship with my husband, because I like the boundaries and sometimes need them, to protect myself.
But I’ll be honest. Spanking still turns me on; it releases me emotionally and physically from stressors; and it brings my body to life.
So here’s my conundrum;
If my husband is my HOH; and he uses corporal punishment to express his displeasure or guide me in a certain way (AKA turning my booty red with a belt or paddle); this means that DD is about spanking, right?
I do something wrong – I get spanked.
I get crabby (because I forgot to eat lunch again), roll my eyes at him, and do something like accidentally dropping his clothes on the bedroom floor (Ok, he should have put them away! It really is his fault here) – I get spanked.
I act in a way that is not consistent with the expectations we have both agreed upon for my own self betterment and empowerment – I get spanked.
Not this past weekend.
Here’s a brief update. (I co-wrote and published my first book with my friends, Casey McKay and Renee Rose a few months ago)
Ever since then, I have had this barrage of story and blog ideas hit me – all at the same time – every week.
Leisurely runs, and showers have been great idea moments for me. But honestly, my best ideas, and when they come all at once, (seriously, ten of them at once!), have been:
I know what you’re thinking.
I’m going to H –E double tooth picks.
Believe me, I wish I could turn it off.
But there are these moments during a service where the pastor will say something, and I’ll go,
“Jackpot! That’s perfect for my blog!”
“Ooh, Thomas and Peter are great names for shape shifting brothers who spank their wives.”
So last week, one of the biggest services of all year; I sat down after the singing, and prepared to really focus.
Then a thought hit me.
I just wanted to write it down really quick, before I forgot. It would only take a minute or two.
Hubby patted my hand.
I shrugged him away, and tried to finish scribbling down the biggest idea of my life…
He took my hand.
Pulled the pen out of my fingers.
Took my book.
Set them all down on his lap.
Then placed his hand across my lap.
Ho – leee cow!
This was by far, the most dominating thing the man has done to me in a long time.
And he has tied me up, blind folded me, has tried several new bedroom acts (which I won’t mention here), and has thrashed my bottom to the other side of the moon and back.
This quiet, calm action…
Even though no one saw it, I was still overwhelmed with embarrassment by the public act.
I have written about characters whose faces blush, flush and turn beet red; but never truly understood the meaning behind these words until I felt my own face warm.
It wasn’t just my cheeks. My whole body flooded with heat. I was so mortified, so… I don’t know, the only word I can come up with is,
I felt so young and foolish; so… wow! (Obviously, articulation is not my forte in moments like this.)
It was an intense few minutes for me.
Then he squeezed my hand, and whispered to me,
“You’re here. Be. Here.”
Then he let me lean up against him, and snuggle during the rest of the service.
I liked that. It was such a great reminder of what we talked about several months earlier.
- To give of myself 100% in a moment.
- Not to go half bootied in one event, while thinking about something else.
I’ve incorporated this into my family time, my phone conversation time, and am trying to do a better job of making this work with my writing time.
But his point was, to give myself to that one moment, since I had already agreed to give myself to it.
He didn’t spank me, or swat me, or threaten me with a little hand to bottom action later.
It was much more subtle, and much more effective.
This also answered a question I have pondered for a while.
“Is DD just about the spanking?”
My answer, after last weekend is, “No.”
While I still like being spanked, and he does use this in many different forms (pleasure, maintenance, release, and punishment); it’s not the end all by all for our relationship.
There’s more to it than that.
But when he does take charge and put his foot down, boy has he got the whole “chastisement” thing down pat.
(And 90% of the time, I appreciate his leadership.)
On a good note, this was a great learning tool for both of us, and it led to another idea for a blog post!
Thank goodness! Since I can’t remember what my original idea was. And I can’t read my own chicken scratch.
It might say, “shots to spankdiddy” for all I know.
Next week, I’m leaving my notebook at home. It didn’t help anyway.
Ok, just for fun. I found a hilarious video on youtube about Mr. Bean in church. It is so stinking funny!
But I tried for fifteen minutes to get the doggone thing inserted and it is not working. So if you want to see it, you will have to go find it on your own.
Trust me, it’s hilarious!