Spanking A-Z Challenge – C: The Car Accident

spank A2Z

Would you believe I had a perfectly wonderful post ready to go (almost), about crafting, with plenty of pretty pictures of all the fun things I like to make?

Only to be slammed with an idea for a different post at the last minute.

It is 8 pm the night before my post is due, and I have decided to write about something a little more intimate. (When these thoughts hit me, they hit hard, and I feel compelled to follow through with them)

For those of you who have not read my blog very often, you should know that sometimes I like to share my full emotions. This is one of those posts. Part of it is graphic in nature, but I felt it a necessary part of my story. I promise, I am not always, THIS intimate. And my next posts will be quite happy and light again.

But today here is my new, last minute post called :

The Car Accident

Almost ten years ago, (on the day of my birthday), I was riding my bike on the parkway in my neighborhood when I was hit from behind by a car. Though it was a 35 mph zone, most people go up to 45 – sometimes, more. We are pretty sure she was going at least that fast.

I remember sensing her behind me, hearing the squeal of the tires, and thinking upon impact,

Oh sh*t, this is going to hurt!

My bike was struck from behind, and I flew up onto her windshield, and flew what seemed like 100 feet, before rolling to the ground.

I don’t remember how much it hurt when I hit the pavement.

I do remember being surrounded by people; a military couple in BDU’s; a woman who prayed over me; and the 16 year old girl who had hit me, sobbing.

Someone told me I had lost my helmet during the crash, and not to move because I was bleeding.

And then I threw up. I was overcome with this awful dizziness, and even more vomiting. It was the worst feeling ever.

When the paramedics arrived, the strapped me down to a board and put a neck brace on me.

When the vertigo came again, they tilted my whole board to the side, so I wouldn’t choke on my own vomit.

I was a mess. A huge f**king mess.

But I was blessed in several huge ways.

Besides the cuts and bruises, there were no major injuries. I had some internal issues with my pancreas, and a head injury.

But things could have been so much worse. If anything had gone differently, I could have easily been run over. I could have died on my birthday.

I have counted my many blessings since that day.

As funny as it is to say, I credit that accident with having my first baby.

(I had miscarried, a year earlier, and was having difficulties getting pregnant)

A lot of my friends and family, like to joke that I finally got pregnant because I was forced to lay in bed for two whole weeks after the accident.

I wasn’t able to lay at more than an 80 degree angle without getting dizzy and sick. (LOL, it made for a few interesting procreation attempts. My husband has made me promise not to give any more details than that. 😉  )

Now, anyone who has ever had a head injury, or known someone with one, will tell you;

That sucker doesn’t go away.

Personalities sometimes change.

Lifestyles change.

Processing and thinking can even change.

 

I have finally come to the conclusion, that my severe mood swings, and constant anger (which I had originally attributed to PPD, because it happened around the same time), might not have been Pregnancy and Post Partum hormones.

It might have been due to a shift because of my head injury.

I still to this day, get dizzy with atmosphere changes and huge weather shifts. I can’t do cartwheels anymore, or go upside down ( no more roller coasters. Boo 😦 )

And I am susceptible to big mood swings.

I hope I don’t sound like I’m complaining. I love most of my life. I am blessed in so many ways, and am happy to be alive.

But I still wonder sometimes about the head injury.

If a head injury can shift your personality, and add anger, and other sides that weren’t that major beforehand, then what about my fetish?

I wonder if I am really a spanko.

Or did this head injury turn me into something different?

If I had not already been married, it wouldn’t be a big deal.

I’m a Spanko now. Embrace it. Love it. Just go with it.

But what about my spouse who married me, BEFORE I was a Spanko?

What happens when a spouse changes, overnight?

Is it the head injury?

Am I really a psychotic, bipolar, be-yotch of a woman, that now thrives on getting her *ss beaten because her personality changed due to a jolt to her brain?

I am willing to wager against this possibility.

I do remember being very interested whenever I saw spankings in books or on tv. My most memorable was Little House on the Prairie.

So maybe my spanking side was always there, along with my submissive side? Just buried dormant within me?

Maybe?

I hope so.

Not because I worry about being who I am, but mostly for my husband’s sake.

That would really stink to have your partner change, in the middle of your marriage.

With all that being said, I still think spanking, and DD (for now), is a blessing to our relationship.

We are closer than we have ever been. Even when comparing our early years together.

We talk more, we listen more. We snuggle and flirt more.

Our bedroom time is as good as, if not better than our first years together.

So, I guess there really isn’t a problem.

As long as he isn’t upset by who I have become (head injury or otherwise), then I will stick with it. I’ll keep asking for spankings.

Occasionally, I may even brat a tiny bit. 🙂

There it is. My intimate post written at the last minute, because I felt the nudge to share.

C is for car accident.

The day my life changed forever.

For the positive.

(except for missing out on roller coasters, of course)

🙂

Thanks for joining me today.

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34 thoughts on “Spanking A-Z Challenge – C: The Car Accident

  1. Cara Bristol

    Wow, Katherine, what a close call. What a trial for everyone in your family, and for you husband. Any significant emotional life event can change a person, and a head injury certainly can. I’m so glad you’re still here, and I had chance to get to know you.

    Reply
  2. Megan Mucgaels

    Thank you so much for sharing! What an experience. I’m so glad you survived! So scary. I’m sure this has been a learning and growing experience for all of you.

    Reply
    1. katherinedeane Post author

      Thanks, Megan. Unfortunately, I didn’t understand a whole heck of a lot of what was going on until this past year.
      Phew!
      Better late than never, though 🙂

      Reply
  3. Etta Stark

    That was such an interesting post. Thank you for sharing. Saying that it would suck to have your partner change in the middle of your marriage, though, that would have to depend on the change surely? Everyone changes over time. I understand change brought about by a head injury is going to be more extreme and perhaps unexpected but it sounds like your marrigae is more loving and stronger than ever which is wonderful.

    I hope we’re still going to get your crafting post, by the way. ‘H’ for handicrafts? Or ‘T’ for ‘That post I was going to post under ‘C’ and then didn’t’?

    Reply
    1. katherinedeane Post author

      Thanks, Etta, great points 🙂

      Love your ideas for moving the posts!
      I am so excited to show off some of my fun stuff!
      🙂
      I’ll check my schedule and see what I can move!
      Thanks!

      Reply
  4. Casey McKay

    Thanks for sharing and opening up. I think people change. Head injury or no head injury. Maybe your moods are a little more pronounced than they would have been before, but overall people change. And that is something you deal with in relationships. I am sure your husband loves you for your heart and the kind soul you have, not your moods or your fetishes. Those change over time, but you as a person will always be the same kind-hearted person you always were, I am sure that is what he fell in love with, so i wouldn’t worry too much about that 🙂

    Reply
  5. Natasha Knight

    Oh wow. You’ve mentioned this before but never talked about the details. You are lucky and I’m so glad it went the way it did. Interesting question you raise about people changing. I think they do change due to circumstances or just plain old life. Watching someone get sick and progressively get worse is hard as parents get older and there’s just so much to be grateful for in the meantime. Thanks for sharing my friend.

    Reply
    1. katherinedeane Post author

      It was so interesting how the thought just popped into my head. 🙂
      It felt like the right time to share the details 🙂
      just wish it would have been earlier than the night before!
      🙂
      then again, the words came out so quickly, I guess it was meant to be. 🙂
      Thanks!

      Reply
  6. Dinah McLeod

    This was so good! And also what my C post was about, actually, though definitely not as traumatic as yours! I thank you for sharing your emotions. The thing is, my husband too did not know he was marrying a spanko, though I can say with complete certainty that it was there all along. You mention remembering being interested in spankings–I’m sure that it’s a pretty safe bet it was always there. Non spankos don’t give it another thought. ❤

    Reply
  7. Stevie MacFarlane Author

    I think when we are compelled to write something, we should just do it. In your case, while it may be slightly painful to share, it opens up a brand new conversation. I believe any traumatic injury or situation can change you and yours was certainly traumatic. Glad you recovered and we able to move forward. Feel like we are really getting to know you.

    Reply
  8. tarafinneganromance

    oh my goodness, that was quite a c!
    I’ve been knocked down, and I do know what you mean about that moment thinking, it’s gonna hurt. Time seems to stand still for a few nanoseconds. But, goodness what injuries you received. I guess you will never know what life would have been like had it not happened. But I sure as hell am glad you’re here sharing, offering your friendship, and just being you.

    Reply
  9. Joelle Casteel

    what an experience… I’m going to share a bit of a story with you… remembering that I was in a poly-triad with my first husband and Shaman… I had become so sick between ex’s neglect, working full time on midnights, plus trying to raise my son on my own, abusing legal stimulants. I’ve had long conversations with one dear family friend who has said that my bipolar was almost impossible to see when Shaman first got involved with me because I was in such a survival mode. In a way,based on that, I can’t imagine some of your feelings on the change in your emotions, etc after the accident.

    Reply
  10. Celeste Jones

    OH my. How traumatic in so many ways. I think we as a society are just now learning more and more about the trauma of head injury (have you read about the former NFL players?). I think many peole think that if there’s no blood, there’s no injury and that’s far from the truth. Thanks for sharing. 😉

    Reply
  11. Maren Smith

    You might not have acted on your spanko impulses before the accident, but from what you’ve said, I think they were definitely there before. And so long as the Hubby isn’t complaining, I don’t think you have too much to worry about. Head injury or not, spouses often change in the middle of a marriage. It’s called growing up, growing older, discovering new and interesting things to enjoy and to share with the one you love. 🙂 Admittedly, getting hit by a car is an extreme most folks wouldn’t ordinarily go with, but I’m glad you came out of it as well as you obviously have!

    Reply
  12. Rhonda Ralston Griffith

    WOW! I’m so glad that you’re alive and what an attitude you have about it. Some would let that really get to them. You go girl!!!

    Reply
  13. reneeroseauthor

    I think you were always a spanko! 😛 The accident sounds terrifying. Of course, I want to give you feldenkrais to help with the dizziness. I’m certain there was a restructuring that occurred afterward, just as our brains also restructure from bearing children. Embrace your new self…you are perfect, just as you are, spanko, otter, mama, wife, friend. 🙂

    Reply

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