Welcome back to the Spanking A-Z Challenge. Today’s letter is “V” for vulnerability.
There is a certain vulnerability in publishing your book. (Or at least that’s how I feel as a new author, anyway. 🙂 )
I am wavering right now between sheer excitement and total “Oh, Sh*t! I am really going to be out there, as in really. out. there!
I’m talking about the exciting fact that I finally sent in my running book for copy edits.
Last week, I was beyond ecstatic; like this big load had been lifted off my chest. This story- my first real story- (which I started over a year ago) was FINALLY finished!
Ready to be seen by others.
Ready to be reviewed and critiqued.
What have I done?!?
When I released The Winter Storm with my friends, Casey McKay and Renee Rose, it was easier to hide behind the group dynamic.
I didn’t have to worry about the reviews, because I knew that they were not personally directed at me, but rather, us as a group.
This was refreshing, and gave me a wonderful warm feeling of safety. (it also helped that the reviews were very good. Except for one reviewer that disliked the fact it was a book about spanking. 🙂 )
But I have finally realized, for this publication, I will be alone – subject to the scrutinizing eye of the seasoned reviewer.
I will feel vulnerable, and very, very naked.
(I don’t like feeling naked. LOL as much as I fantasize about a humiliating, semi public spanking, yeah, I wouldn’t be able to do it. I’m not an exhibitionist.)
And writing is a form of exhibitionism, right?
But I have thought it through.
On one hand, it is going to be an amazing experience. I’ll get some great closure by finally finishing this story.
I’ll be able to cross it off, as my first published, solo book.
I’ll be able to much more easily move on to the other projects I have in mind. (As it turns out, my brain doesn’t like the idea of focusing on new material until it has gotten the closure it needs from the “finished product”. Hehe, if you have ever heard about my wreck of a sewing room, you will understand what I am talking about.)
So this means closure for me- in so many freaking cool ways!
But I will still have to prepare myself for the vulnerability that will come from being “out there” by myself.
I will most likely need to toughen up my skin, and learn to take constructive criticism without thinking of it as a personal attack.
And since I am inherently, a people pleaser, LOL, that will be a fun task. 😉
But I have always been a planner.
So in keeping with my need for contingencies (my husband calls it worrying. I call it being prepared 🙂 ), I have come up with possible scenarios.
1. Just in case, everyone in the world loves it, and I become the next JK Rowling, and make a gazillion dollars; my husband is being given permission to spank me quite soundly if I become a snob. 🙂
2. In case everyone in the whole wide world and other galaxies (including the Alpha, Beta, Gamma and Delta quadrants) despise it; then I am paying my BFF to read my reviews and filter them to me. And my husband will still be given permission to spank me quite soundly if I whine too much about reviews.
3. In the case of anything between the above two brackets; I will take the opportunity to learn and grow, continuing to enjoy my time as an author. AND my husband will be given extra permission to spank me every day, quite soundly, because
I will probably just need it. 🙂
So there it is.
I am about to release my new book, hopefully, next month.
As a solo author.
It is pretty special to me.
And it is about running 🙂
And even though I vary in extremes between how I feel, every day going into it, I think I will live through it.
A little vulnerability never hurt anyone, right?
Please feel free to sign the petition below.
“Mr. Deane (AKA Katherine Deane’s Husband),
Please spank your wife.
A sore bottom might take some of the edge off her nerves.
Thanks for joining me today!
Please follow the link below to see all the other cool bloggers!
Powered by Linky Tools
Click here to enter your link and view this Linky Tools list…