DD update :)

Today’s another personal kind of post kind of day, and more of an update on our DD journey, since I haven’t post much lately. 🙂

We have kind of backed off on the spanking aspect of our spanking relationship for the past six months. And for anyone who really knows me, the spanking part is the best part.

i wish he would spank me

Don’t get me wrong, I love having his leadership and support all the time. I like that he takes my advice, but makes the hard decisions himself.

We both agree, it’s good he is in charge of the money. OMG, my Kindle activity is only a small sign of how flighty I am when it comes to money matters.


“It was a huge sale, honey,” I say, pouting.

“But we don’t need 5 gallons of milk,” he replies.

“It was Buy two Get three free. Come on!”

“What about the extra ten bags of vegetables?” he reasons.

“BOGO,” I explain, proudly.


Sadly, it all went bad before I could use or give it all away.


That should have been another spanking moment, and will definitely stay in my “list of potential scenes for a DD book” later.

But for now…


We have stopped spanking.

And it makes me antsy, a little sad, and a little, hmmm, I don’t know… lonely?

I like being spanked by him. Even when it starts hurting. And man, has he come far from the first days of,

“You want me to do what? To your what?”

Followed by a few soft swats.


Yes, he has mastered the quick swat in the middle of the kitchen while noone is looking.

And he is quite good at the warm up over his lap, at nighttime.

And if I were being perfectly honest, he is superb at the “Nu uh, you’re not done yet, I’m going to keep spanking you until I’m done.” Aspect.

It’s awesome!

dont be gentle

But we had to take a break for different reasons.

We finally had a good long talk, last week.

I explained to him how busy his work is keeping him; how much I miss him; and I was really honest about this- how much I need some of his attention.

Especially, THAT kind of attention.

Being held in his arms, tightly after a good, hard spanking.

Crying—not from the spanking. I don’t usually cry from the pain. But I do cry because of the intimacy, or because I know I have hurt him or done something I should have done better.

Loving the intimate feeling of being so close to him, and knowing this is something neither of us will ever do with another. It’s our one special thing that belongs only to us.

I miss that feeling. I miss my husband. I miss the intimacy. And I miss feeling cherished and “seen” by him.


So we talked last week. And it was really good to lay everything out for each other.

We acknowledged his busy schedule, and my needing to be a little more patient (just hold on a while longer. Work won’t be like this forever). And his needing to be “there” for me a bit more often. I liked the open communication and resolution.

We had a fantastic night of reconnecting, which led into a great week of productivity for both of us. He got a lot done at work, and wasn’t quite as stressed out. And I actually started working on some story ideas again.

Unfortunately, this has been a rough week for him at work- the most intense and stressful yet.

He came home last night with the scary anxiety and heart signs that worry me. (especially since his father died of a heart attack, only a few years older than he is now).

I told the kids I would have to snuggle with them later, so I could help Daddy get settled in upstairs. I raced around like a mad woman looking for the cord to the daggone eight hour diffuser, and found just the right essential oils to calm and let him chill for a while.

When I finished setting everything up, he coaxed me onto the bed next to him, and pulled me against his chest. Then he started lightly swatting my bottom. And then, he finished by snuggling me against him again, and said,

“I know you are overdue for some attention, but I don’t feel well right now. If I felt even a little bit better, I would help you with a discussion (his word for spanking, since he can’t say the “Sp” word :)). But I really need to rest.”


That’s when I realized, how seriously awesome this man was. His willingness to acknowledge both a need in me and a weakness in him, was a pretty cool thing.

I also realized that I inadvertently added more stress to the poor guy’s already overflowing “To-do” list.

<Work a ton of hours, never get caught up, answer phone calls all night, 4 am deployments, and don’t forget to spank the wife.>


He was glad I had been honest with him about my needs for attention, but he was also stressing out more because he wasn’t accomplishing all his “tasks”.

So I took the burden back off his shoulders, and told him I didn’t want my requests to add any more stress.

I thanked him so so so so much for just acknowledging my needs and desires.

And I also told him that I appreciated what he had just given me, and that was plenty.

I just wanted him to get some rest and feel better.

And guess what. I meant it. I didn’t need a spanking.


So he rested, and came downstairs this morning, ready to start another day of stressful work.

He gave me something much better than a spanking last night. I hope I can give him something just as wonderful.

Anyway, there’s our update on the spanking side of things.

Thanks for stopping by!

Hugs and blessings


23 thoughts on “DD update :)

  1. PK

    You are a wonderful couple that is looking out for one another. That’s great. I’ve felt that way at times, that I was adding to his ‘to do’ list when I needed spanking. Like you I told him not to worry about it, but that if spanking me could relieve some of his stress – that I was always available. Hope things calm down for him soon.

  2. Casey McKay

    Sometimes life just gets in the way of everything! We’ve had this thing we’ve said to each other since before we were married– that we wish we were just on an island all by ourselves with nothing else to worry about. Sadly, life is never like that. It’s good that you keep talking and connecting. I hope he is feeling better, and make sure you take care of yourself too!

  3. Megan Michaels

    God, I think we’ve all been there! I love cuddling, holding each other with neither of us having expectations. I know my husband has said that just holding me centers him, putting everything into perspective. Reordering his priorities. And it does that for me too. And you too! I’m glad you had that opportunity, now you know to do it more often. Loved the post!!

  4. lisagrais

    So proud of you for asking for what you want! What a great team you both are. I’m actually proud of him too. I hope the stress let’s up and he can enjoy life better. Hugs!

  5. krblake

    Wonderful post, and backing off to help give him a little less stress in his life was definitely the right thing to do. He understands and loves you. Who can ask for more?

  6. rosychuckles

    Oh bless, we all go phases where we think it’s not quite there and then like you two you realise that there are lots of ways to help each other and hey presto that magical closeness reappears. I hope that you both can keep on supporting each other and I hope he feels better soon
    love Jan,xx

  7. rozharrison

    Oh I love this Katherine. Your love for each other shines through. Both acknowledging each others needs. I’m so glad you talked things through and hope the stress eases soon.



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