The Big Brother fantasy – another personal musing :)

It’s time for another personal post. πŸ™‚

This one is not sexual, and I already know that the word “fantasy” conjures up quite a different image than what I really want, but for lack of better words, and coffee, I’m going with it for now.

The other day, I replied on a post, that I wasn’t really into Stepbrother stories. (for the record, once again, I am a firm believer in “Your kink may not be mine, and that’s okay.”).

I got to thinking about it this morning while washing dishes.Β  “What is the big emotional factor behind me not getting into a kink that so many of my other friends do get into?”

It’s the Big Brother fantasy.

captain america

(I even figured out who I want to be my big brother, LOL. Yes, it is most definitely a fantasy. πŸ˜‰ )


I have a big brother “fantasy”, and have for almost all my life.

No sex here. None whatsoever.

In my dreams and fantasies, I have always longed for a big brother.

A big brother that would stick up for me, kick bullies’ asses for me.

Cuss me out if I came home late, and forgot to call.

But wash my mouth out with soap if I dared to use the same words, LOL.

Hold me on his lap, and let me cry over the latest stupid drama (probably Facebook induced).

Remind me that I am a good person, and deserve the best in life.

Spank me over his knee, if I am not doing the best for myself.


overprotectove big brother


There’s plenty more. But I think you get the picture.

This isn’t all child and teenage based, though. It’s an adult wish as well.

As an adult, he would back off at times, but always be that safety net. Big Brother, the one I could always count on when I needed him.

He would probably die a million times, watching me make mistakes, but he would never turn his back on me, would never leave me. Would always love me.

My protector, my big brother would be there, because his main existence in life would be to be THERE for me. LOL, that’s a little egoistical and selfish, but hey, it’s my fantasy.

And here’s the thing, a real big brother would not ever have sexual feelings towards me, nor I toward him. We would love each other unconditionally, and give each other the strength to make it through life.

I would be the annoying, yet adorable, but always there for him, little sister.

He would be the Good Lord, this big jerk has pissed me off again, but he always has my back, big brother.

big brother picture

That’s my fantasy.

I’ve always tried to make it come true, by dating older or more mature guys. But it never quite turned out the way I planned.

What I portrayed as a need for sibling intimacy and connection, was always taken as sexual connection. Men never understood that.

I’ve always been drawn to the big brother type. That guy with a little hint of what I was looking for. But unfortunately, it confuses men. They take flirting as an invitation for sexual activity.

And to be honest, all I really want is the snuggles. And the safety net, And the bond.

And the spankings.


Psychologically, there might be something deeper. Like an Electra complex sort of thing. I don’t know. But that’s the fun thing about thinking, reading, talking and growing.

But for now, at least I have enough information to get going.

I have a Big Brother fantasy. I am probably the only woman in the world that feels that way.

LOL, which will make it very difficult to sell the idea of a brotherΒ  / sister relationship to the publishers. But, it’s still pretty in my mind.

Thanks for listening.

Happy spanks ❀

20 thoughts on “The Big Brother fantasy – another personal musing :)

  1. Marybeth

    I love your fantasy. And as the recipient of 5 older brothers, not a little of that is true. Lol. I hope you find him!

  2. Ruth Staunton

    For the record, you aren’t the only one. True, I’ve always thought of mine as a Daddy fantasy rather than a Big Brother fantasy, but this fits. Protection, affection, discipline. Yep, I get that,

      1. katherinedeane Post author

        So it sounds like only the term of endearment is different. I like the fantasy. Thanks, Maren. I’m so glad to see some other people that get what I was saying.

  3. Cara Bristol

    I’m an only child, but I always wanted a big brother. When I was a teenager, I found out my mom had had a miscarriage before I was born, and the baby had been a boy. I felt an acute sense of loss. There is that sense that a older brother will be protective, but in reality, big brothers are just as likely to torment their younger siblings or ignore them. Ah well…

  4. Maren Smith

    I agree with you on so many levels. I tend to avoid stepbrother stories like the plague because the LAST person I want as a book boyfriend is someone who’s supposed to be my brother. I don’t see ‘step’. I was raised in a family where we fostered and adopted from other families. Those were my brothers and sisters. Not my adopted brothers/sisters or foster brothers/sisters. I never saw them with any distinction and that’s probably while, although I would NEVER tell someone that ‘my kink is good; you’re just sick’, that particular fantasy simply isn’t for me.

    HOWEVER, I can totally relate to that deeply innate desire to have someone stick up for you, always be there for you, hold you in his lap, hug you, wash your mouth out, turn you across his knee when required, the lion who guards his pack sort of thing, and to have all of that rolled into a lion of a big brother would be very comforting. But I’m like you. I do not want it with any kind of sexual intimacy.

  5. Sophie Kisker

    Have you ever read Livia Grant’s “Life’s Unexpected Gifts” (Corbin’s Bend)? There is exactly that kind of brother/sister relationship in there – spanking and all!

  6. casey1mckay

    I understand your fantasy, although, with two real life big brothers of my own I am not sure big brothers like this exist. My brothers are 3 and 6 years older than me and when my parents would go out sometimes leaving my oldest brother “in charge” my mom would always pull me aside and say “Dont let the boys do anything stupid.” Still to this day my middle brother with call me for advice or to ask for help with something. It doesn’t happen so much the other way around.

    I understand your fantasy though and why you wouldn’t link that to sex (bc ew!). I also am not into the stepbrother thing and I think it’s mostly because i have real brothers and it just makes me feel icky.

  7. rozharrison

    Hi Katherine, I’m with Casey, I too understand the fantasy and have two older brothers with about the same age gap. They mostly used to antagonise and torture me lol. They were protective when it matterd though. As an adult when I split with my partner one of them asked me if I wanted him to have a word with him. A real word that is, not fists lol.



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