It’s time for another personal post. 🙂
This one is not sexual, and I already know that the word “fantasy” conjures up quite a different image than what I really want, but for lack of better words, and coffee, I’m going with it for now.
The other day, I replied on a post, that I wasn’t really into Stepbrother stories. (for the record, once again, I am a firm believer in “Your kink may not be mine, and that’s okay.”).
I got to thinking about it this morning while washing dishes. “What is the big emotional factor behind me not getting into a kink that so many of my other friends do get into?”
It’s the Big Brother fantasy.
(I even figured out who I want to be my big brother, LOL. Yes, it is most definitely a fantasy. 😉 )
I have a big brother “fantasy”, and have for almost all my life.
No sex here. None whatsoever.
In my dreams and fantasies, I have always longed for a big brother.
A big brother that would stick up for me, kick bullies’ asses for me.
Cuss me out if I came home late, and forgot to call.
But wash my mouth out with soap if I dared to use the same words, LOL.
Hold me on his lap, and let me cry over the latest stupid drama (probably Facebook induced).
Remind me that I am a good person, and deserve the best in life.
Spank me over his knee, if I am not doing the best for myself.
There’s plenty more. But I think you get the picture.
This isn’t all child and teenage based, though. It’s an adult wish as well.
As an adult, he would back off at times, but always be that safety net. Big Brother, the one I could always count on when I needed him.
He would probably die a million times, watching me make mistakes, but he would never turn his back on me, would never leave me. Would always love me.
My protector, my big brother would be there, because his main existence in life would be to be THERE for me. LOL, that’s a little egoistical and selfish, but hey, it’s my fantasy.
And here’s the thing, a real big brother would not ever have sexual feelings towards me, nor I toward him. We would love each other unconditionally, and give each other the strength to make it through life.
I would be the annoying, yet adorable, but always there for him, little sister.
He would be the Good Lord, this big jerk has pissed me off again, but he always has my back, big brother.
That’s my fantasy.
I’ve always tried to make it come true, by dating older or more mature guys. But it never quite turned out the way I planned.
What I portrayed as a need for sibling intimacy and connection, was always taken as sexual connection. Men never understood that.
I’ve always been drawn to the big brother type. That guy with a little hint of what I was looking for. But unfortunately, it confuses men. They take flirting as an invitation for sexual activity.
And to be honest, all I really want is the snuggles. And the safety net, And the bond.
And the spankings.
Psychologically, there might be something deeper. Like an Electra complex sort of thing. I don’t know. But that’s the fun thing about thinking, reading, talking and growing.
But for now, at least I have enough information to get going.
I have a Big Brother fantasy. I am probably the only woman in the world that feels that way.
LOL, which will make it very difficult to sell the idea of a brother / sister relationship to the publishers. But, it’s still pretty in my mind.
Thanks for listening.
Happy spanks ❤