Category Archives: Fiction and writing prompts

First Draft writing woes

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(Since I have had a rough week of what I call my “first draft writing woes”, I decided to interview myself, and see if I could talk my way back into some forward action. My male character, the hunky, dominating coach from my current work in progress, came by to help) 😉

 

First draft woes –

An interview with Coach Jonathan from “Redemption” (Katherine’s current WIP)

 

Katherine Deane: Thanks for coming by today, Jonathan. I’m having a really tough time with your story, and since you are a coach and trainer for elite athletes, I was hoping you could help me talk out my issues.

Coach Jonathan: I’m happy to help, Katherine. What seems to be the problem?

Katherine Deane: The first draft sucks! It sucks worse than rotten eggs from a Chinese restaurant’s dumpster – after a week of sitting in the hot sun!

Coach Jonathan: Nice analogy. I can almost smell it, based on that vivid description. Are you doing that in your writing?

Katherine Deane: Noooo. (Groans and covers her head) I’ve pretty much just written out everything from my original plan and character arc sheets.

Coach Jonathan: Foundation building, got it.

Katherine Deane: Aren’t you listening to me? It sucks! It’s terrible. I keep hyperventilating every time I try to read through it. (Wraps arms around her chest and sighs pitifully.) I just want to curl into a ball and go read someone else’s awesome story.

Coach Jonathan: (strides over and pushes her down over desk, and lays rapid swats across her bottom.)

Katherine Deane: Ow, ow, ow. What are you doing? Stop! That hurts.

Coach Jonathan: Are you ready to stop the pity party and listen to me?

Katherine Deane: Yes, coach. (Rubs her bottom and winces as she sits back down)

Coach Jonathan: You’re a runner, right? You used to compete a lot before having your children, correct?

Katherine Deane: Yes.

Coach Jonathan: Did you just decide one day, “Hey I’m going to go out for a run today, and see if I can qualify for the military world cross country championships, and then qualify for the Olympic Trials in the Marathon”?

Katherine Deane: No. That’s ridiculous. I put a ton of base building, strength training, and miles under my belt before I could even try something that difficult. It was a lot of work.

Coach Jonathan: Did you roll into a ball, and watch your favorite runners do their thing, instead? Did you give up?

Katherine Deane: No, sir! I am not a quitter!

Coach Jonathan: What did you do, sweetheart?

Katherine Deane: I created you, and you damn well know I hate being called words like that. Don’t call me “Sweetheart”. And in answer to your question, I worked my ass off every day, until I achieved my goal.

Coach Jonathan: There’s the fire I was looking for. (Winks and gives a huge smile with perfectly white teeth). You know how to build a foundation. You know it’s not going to be easy. And as you have just demonstrated, you are not a quitter. So what are you going to do now?

Katherine Deane: Um, remind myself that it’s first draft, and it’s supposed to suck?

Coach Jonathan: (nods)

Katherine Deane: Keep going; fix what I can; ask for a friend to read it through and give suggestions…

Coach Jonathan: And?

Katherine Deane: (stands and pulls herself to her full five foot two height and glares at him) I’m going to finish your story, and people are going to love Wren, and swoon over you and your dominating ways.

Coach Jonathan: Good girl. Remember, it’s just a foundation. You continue to build from there. I know you can do it. (Gives her a hug) But if you need any more incentive, let me know. I have a paddle, Benwa balls, ginger root, and a lot of experience motivating little rebels who need an extra push.

Katherine Deane: Thanks. I needed that. Okay, you get back to training Wren. I want her ready for the big gymnastics circuit next week.

Coach Jonathan: My little rebel was born ready. Keep up the great work. (Smiles and walks out Katherine’s office)

Katherine Deane: (winces as her bottom rubs against her not cushioned enough, office chair)  I have got to stop giving my heroes such hard, paddle like hands.

All right, first draft, let’s see what we can do with you…

*** (Thanks for stopping by!) *** 🙂

 

calvin first draft

 

beautiful poem

 

erica-jong-quote-about-writing

ernest hemingway first draft quote

 

mobydick first draft

 

sand castle quote

 

shit rough drafts hemingway

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Flash Fiction : Ghost Story – just in time for Halloween!

I am officially trying my hand at Flash fiction!

Sorry, no spankings today. 🙂

But I did have a lot of fun writing in a  new genre in the NYC Midnight Flash Fiction 2014 Challenge.

Contestants receive a prompt set, and write a 1000 word story based on that set.

My contest story is a 900  word piece with the following prompts:

genre – ghost story

location – rooftop terrace

object – ladder

(Oh! Did I mention, it had to be done in 48 hours?)

It was a lot of fun to write. I even stayed up after midnight so I could start as soon as I got the email !  (Anyone that knows me, knows that 10 pm is usually my end time. :))

I also tried something new. First Person POV.  🙂

Well, that’s about it . Wish me luck!

Here’s the piece if you are interested in reading it. 🙂

flash fiction challenge pic

 

The Spirit of Friendship

***** A mother has issues with her young daughter’s new friends.*****

“Mommy, I’m going outside to chat with my friends!” my eight year old calls, running out the door of our new apartment.

“Hold on a sec, Polly girl. Which friends?”

“Oh mommy,” She rolls her eyes and grins. “It’s Suzanna and Collin, remember?”

I remember. She has mentioned the same friends, ever since we moved to this new apartment building in Grand Rapids. The largest in the city, boasting the most beautiful rooftop terrace with a lush garden and hydroponics.

John would have loved the garden.

Polly does. Every day, before and after school, she escapes into her own little imaginative world of garden fairies and gnomes – and beautiful, abundant life.

I’m happy she’s thriving – laughing, enjoying life, chatting with her friends; she talks so fast, she never gives them a chance to respond.

Later, I’ll go up to the terrace, and meet her friends. But I’m still not ready for social interaction.

“Have fun, sweet girl.” I give her cheek a kiss, which she immediately rubs off, squinching her nose. “Tell your friends they’re welcome to come down to our apartment for dinner sometime.”

Polly giggles, her chubby cheeks flushed and dimpled. “Mom says we can invite them to dinner,” she tells the invisible friend next to her.

I’m sure she’ll grow out of this phase someday. Having real friends in the apartment will help.

 

#

I have finally emptied all the moving boxes, and found a place for each item – all except my husband’s old gardening supplies.

He won first place in the Marne Spring Garden Festival.

I killed the cactus.

We always laughed about my black thumb.  I wish I could find his secret potting soil.

The pot I had placed on the corner of the table, falls to the floor with a loud crash.

I’m not going to keep a cactus alive that way.

I should go up to the terrace to check on Polly and meet her new friends.  Maybe the garden will help dispel the dark, emptiness inside me. Polly says it’s abundant with life.

I can’t hide in the apartment forever.

 

#

I climb the steps into the lush expanse of greenery.

Polly’s chubby, little body shakes as she reaches into the empty air, inching closer to the edge of the roof. “Don’t leave, Suzanna!” she wails.

A sickening fear clenches my gut as I stride carefully toward her.

“Polly Girl.” I call softly, and she turns to me, her bright brown eyes wet with tears.

“My friend is leaving!” she cries.

I snuggle her into my chest, understanding all too well the anguish of losing someone, but she pulls away.

“There aren’t any moving trucks.” I try for careful conversation to lull her back to safety.

“They don’t take trucks.” She sniffles. “They always take the ladder.” She points into the open blue sky, but all I can see is the clouds, and the Grand River.

“Honey, you must mean that ladder.” I show my little angel the small fire escape ladder leading to the ground.

“No!” Her eyes widen. “No one wants to go down. Collin says you should go up.” She points again.

I see nothing. The hairs on my arm stand.

“Polly honey, where is Collin?” I barely croak the words.

“Oh, mommy.” Her eyes light up and she dances away from me again. “He’s right here. He says he’s sorry he broke your pot.”

My heart lodges in my throat.

“There’s no one here, but you and me, honey.”

“Of course there is, mommy. There’s always someone here. Can’t you see them?” Her young eyes narrow in confusion.

I reach for her, but she skips closer to the edge.

“Please, come back to me, Polly girl,” I say, tasting blood on my lip.

“But Collin is going, and says I can go too – up!” She dances in a circle, twirling and leaping closer to the edge, her eyes a distant glow, seeing yet unseeing.

My vision swims, as I fight not to expel the contents of my stomach. My body feels like lead.

“I just need your permission.” She beams hopefully, giggling as she is tugged toward the edge.

 

#

“No, dammit!” I shout to no one and to everyone, enraged by this intrusion. “This is MY daughter, and she does not have my permission! Please. Help me.” I choke.

A warm, soft stroke caresses my cheek, and the scent of Polo surrounds me.

Polly reaches for the sky, in tippy-toed delight, cooing and laughing at something only she has heard.

Suddenly she stops and furrows her little brow as happy recognition dawns on her face.

She shuffles from the ledge, back to the sanctuary of the tulips and raspberries.

Her lower lip trembles, and tears fill her eyes as she listens and nods in a one sided exchange.

“Okay.” She hiccups her reply and wipes her runny nose on her sleeve. “I love you too.”

I surge toward her, and hug her so tightly, neither of us can breathe.

 

#

“I’m sorry about your friends, Polly girl.” I lead her down the stairs, to our home.

“It’s okay, mommy.” She smiles. “They went up the ladder. More friends will come.”

More. Friends.

“Oh! Daddy says to tell you the special soil is in the brown bag marked with a green smiley face, at the bottom of the kitchen cabinet.” Polly grins.

She giggles, “He also says to stop over watering the cactus.”

 

The End

Interview with Renee Rose- The Devil of Whiskey Row

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I am so excited about this interview with Renee Rose.  She is such an amazing writer, and very fun “in person”.

When we decided to do this interview, I knew that she was the perfect author for a “live banter” session.  I envisioned an online chat room, where everyone would “watch” us chat. 

Oh, it was going to be so much fun!

I pictured lively banter about her new book, lots of Freudian slips, sexual innuendos, and of course, my favorite, spanko talk. I knew if anyone could handle my ability to speak sans inner monologue, it would be Renee.

Alas, I couldn’t find a site that would cater to a “two person only” dialogue, so we decided to “wing it”. 

We got together one night, and messaged back and forth, “pretending” that we were live.  I had so much fun, my husband had to come in and ask if I was alright. (I was laughing so hard, he could hear me from all the way downstairs)

What you see below is the edited version of our dialog. To keep the “live feel”, I left most of it as is; the PM handles, the LOL’s and smiley faces, all of it. I hope you enjoy our “pretend” attempt at live interviewing.

_____________________________________

Me: Renee, Thanks so much for chatting with me today. I am sure this is a little different than your usual interview session. I have to admit, I’m kind of disappointed that we couldn’t do this live.  But I am looking forward to “pretending”. So, just have fun, let loose a little, and let’s chat about your new book “The Devil of Whiskey Row”.

Renee:  I love pretending! Thanks for having me today!

Me: The title intrigued me. What’s the meaning behind the whole “Devil” thing? When I think of the devil I think horned red guy with a big pitchfork, twirling his tongue between his lips. This is not the real Jake, correct?

Renee:  He’s a devil because he’s killed with his bare hands.  He can be pretty brutal when defending his “girls”

Me: No tongue twirling? Nuts!

Renee:  Shh… that part comes later. Don’t give it away.

Me:  Well, he does sound like a strapping big guy. That’s great that he is so protective of his girls. So how did this big “daddy” thing come to play?

Renee:  So, even though I’m not drawn to “age play,” I have always been tweaked by the idea of being spanked by a “daddy” (who’s not my real daddy!).  I started calling my husband “big Daddy” jokingly when we first started dating and then when we had kids, well, that was his name anyway.

Cue:  “You can call me daddy when you back that thing up…”

Me:  LOL, does he “like big butts”?

Renee:  Well, I’ve always had “junk in the trunk” (as much junk in the trunk as you can have at 115 lbs.).  Basically I have a really muscular ass, which I realized at one point was from squeezing it my whole life as I imagined I was being spanked! Oh god, did I really just reveal that?

Me: Yes, and thank you for the awesome visual. 🙂

If it makes you feel any better, I’ll admit that I bend over the bed sometimes just to “visualize” receiving a spanking. (But my ass is not very muscular. It’s just squishy.)

Renee:  LOL. (And still laughing). Squishy is an awesome word.

Me: Okay, where was I?

Renee:  Bending over the bed pretending your squishy ass is getting swatted?

Me:  “chokes, sputters” I think I just spit wine out my nose.

Me:  ok, Why a brothel? I understand that Jake took over for the past owner. But what made him stay?

Renee:  He stays out of obligation to his girls.  They begged him to stay.  Also he has no other attachments– he’s been pretty emotionally adrift since his fiancée’s death.

Me:   And that’s why he is so connected to Cora?

Renee:  Yes, Cora is the spitting image of his dead fiancée, which is confusing to him.

Me:  A lot of conflicting emotions, I can totally see that. Is that why he is so much harder on her? Because he wants more from her?

Renee:  I don’t think he’s actually harder on her, just that she’s new and has to learn his rules.  But it’s why he breaks his vow of celibacy with her.

Me: mm hmm, I really enjoyed that scene. That was right after he gave her a particularly hard spanking, and noticed her, ahem, appreciation. Right?

Renee:  Mmm hmm. She was calling him Daddy when she backed that thing up…

Me:  🙂 ok, so let’s talk about how well Jake plays his instrument

Renee:  he he.  She said instrument.

Me:  LOL, he can be a real pianist at times, he he. Ahem, sorry. Play on words

Me:  So, in the book, Jake seems to have a very masterful stroke as a pianist. Does he have to practice often?

Renee:  Let’s just say he has VERY CLEVER fingers!

Me:  Mmm, clever fingers indeed.  So what led him from clever stroking to skillful paddling? (Inner spanko desires, needs unfulfilled, a need to compensate for the whiteness of the keys?)

Renee:  Jake is one of those guys who’s a born spanko.  He does use spanking for real discipline in his brothel, but he also admits (to himself, at least) that it has a powerful effect on him. One of his whores, Olive, jokes that spanking is his substitute for sex.

Me: I can totally see that. But the scene where he and Cora finally got together (that was HOT by the way), showed that he was definitely not getting enough release from those spankings.

Renee:  I think it was working for him until Cora came along and woke the sleeping, er… pianist.

Me:  LOL ROFL, OMG, my husband just came in to check on me. I was laughing a little TOO  loud 🙂

Me:  ok, speaking of release, we have got to talk about my favorite scene that I will forever be comparing other OTKs to:

the OTK orgasm.

OH MY GOD! I had to change my panties after that scene! Is it really possible to have an orgasm (quite a large one by the looks of the scene anyway) during / after a spanking?

Renee:  giggle.  You mean the one where he orgasms while spanking?

Me:  Uh, they both did. *rolls eyes* you were probably too busy watching Jake, but I am quite sure Cora did also

Renee:  Oh yeah, you’re right.  She did first.  And then third.

So I orgasm every time I get spanked, but that’s because my husband thinks of spanking as erotic foreplay, rather than punishment.

Me:  I have become aroused before (yes, even during punishments), but I have never gone far enough to actually experience the “little death”. I feel very cheated now.

Renee:  Well, some form of penetration (fingers, butt plug, etc.) is highly useful.  Oh, you gotta check out Natasha Knight’s Naia and the Professor— there’s a really hot spanking scene with anal beads.  Let’s just say they’re at the top of my list now…

Me:  I’m going to have to read that one next. Btw, nice plug for Natasha!  (Freudian slip intended I think)

Renee:  heh heh.  She said plug.

Me: LOL, So Jake and Cora really do have some good chemistry.  Is it just because of how much she reminds him of his fiancé?  And is that why he wants to save Cora from all of this because of his guilt over his fiancé’s death? Is he projecting his loss and fears onto Cora?

Renee:  There is that, but he also sees the real Cora, and he recognizes that she does not fit in the brothel the way the others do.  She clearly doesn’t like being a working girl and is only doing it for the money.  This makes him want to rescue her. I could see how it was tough for her also, knowing that he was comparing her to his dead fiancé.

Me: Yes, that would be tough for both of them. And it seemed especially tough for Cora, who just did not want to be there. But on the flip side, you have someone like Olive.

Me:  ooh, we have to talk about my second favorite scene which I titled “Olive, the dominatrix”.

Can you tell me more about Olive, and her awesome final scene? It had so many fun elements to it; a public spanking, a shared spanker, a Dominatrix in the making, and a little bit of old fashioned auctioneering. Too much fun!

Renee:  So I was setting it up for a sequel with Olive and Spankaloons.  Olive is a fabulous secondary character– a woman who is empowered by her sexuality and knows how to use it for money or to gain her own pleasure. She’s a great foil to Cora, who shrinks from sex and whoring.

Me:  I really liked Olive, she was amazing! She is a great Yin to Cora’s Yang. They complement each other very well, as was seen in their friendship. Hey, did you say there was a sequel?

Renee: Oops — I have a few other things to write first, so don’t get too excited, but yes, I can see this blooming into other stories…

Me:  Alright, I’ll wait patiently. But I do think I will make a poll at the end of this interview. All those in favor of Renee writing the sequel with Olive and Spankaloons, raise your hand. (ME, ME, ME!)

Renee:  I gotta get the writing bubble figured out so I can crank ’em out faster.

Me:  Okay, last question.  It seems like a lot of authors write characters that either personify them, or their desires. How does this relate to you? Are you one of the characters, and if so which one?

Renee:  I guess I am both Cora and Olive.  There are times I have shrunken from my sexuality, and that scene at the end where she doesn’t get off till he gets rough is definitely something I’ve experienced.  But there are also times when I am standing fully in my sexuality, when I engage in public sex, exhibitionism, threesomes, etc.  I really enjoy that feeling and would prefer to feel that way more often.  I guess that was what I writing about in my threesome post last week.

Me: That threesome post was very interesting.  I’ve never tried it, but I am very interested in looking at my exhibitionist side.  Have you ever watched any of Erica Scott’s spanking videos? I love her! This is probably tmi, but I would love to do something like that. (If you don’t hear from me after this post goes up, my hubby has probably freaked out after reading this, and has taken away all my tech devises. Not like I know how to use Skype or the little camera thingy on my laptop, anyway.)

Renee:  No– I haven’t seen them. Now you have me VERY curious. I’m going to call your hubby and see if he’ll send them all to me.

Me:   Don’t you dare! I need my outlet. They’re “my prrrrr-esh-us” *strokes lovingly”.

Me:  Well, that’s all the time I have for chatting tonight. Sorry. But if you want to set up another time and date for fun banter including spanking talk and lots of sexual innuendos, you know where to find me. 🙂

Renee:  I am ALWAYS up for fun banter that includes spanking and sexual innuendos– thank you!

Me:  Thanks so much for chatting with me. I loved your book, and can’t wait to see what you come up with next.

Me:  Here’s a “Thank You” swat for your time.

Renee:  Mmm! Thank you, ma’am, may I have another?

Me:  Hehe, my first official online switch.  🙂

Thanks again.  Good night!

************************************************

The Devil of Whiskey Row

Forced by miserable circumstance to work in a gold rush brothel, Cora Underhill hates what her life has become. When a fire sweeps through her workplace, she welcomes death as an end to it all. But then Jake Diggory crashes through her window for an unwelcome rescue, offering her shelter and a paid position at his establishment. She accepts, in spite of Jake’s fearsome reputation as ‘The Devil Diggory’, and soon sees another side to Jake–the firm but caring side of him which led his girls to name him ‘Daddy Diggs’.

Life at Daddy Diggs’ is an entirely new experience for Cora. Jake has strict rules which he backs up with over the knee discipline, but he will not tolerate any mistreatment of his girls and he can go from playing beautiful music on a piano to defending them with his bare fists. The strangest thing of all, however, is the fact that every girl at Daddy Diggs’ swears that Jake has never slept with her, or with any other woman for that matter, since his fiancée’s death back in Ireland fifteen years ago.

Cora attempts to emulate the other prostitutes at Daddy Diggs’, who enjoy making money, holding power over men and even the act of sex, but she still finds no pleasure in the company of men–until the day she inadvertently arouses the passion of The Devil Diggory. His fierce lovemaking thaws some frozen part of her, but it seems Jake is only attracted to her because she resembles his dead fiancée. Confused by his new feelings for Cora and guilt over his broken vow of celibacy, Jake pushes Cora away. Can he come to terms with his past and claim Cora for his own, or will his grief keep them apart forever?

EXCERPT

In the following excerpt, Jake has just spanked Cora to orgasm– his orgasm. What had started out as punishment turned into something altogether different…

And it had not been enough. He leaned back in the chair, catching his breath, relief from his release already fading as the raw, underlying passion flamed even hotter. It was as if once lit, the fire would continue growing until it exploded within him. He ran his hand through his hair in frustration, allowing Cora to slide off his lap. Normally so in control, he was now strangely helpless—no words could address their situation. Yet Cora, sweet Cora, who of all the girls was the least likely to ever try to seduce him, was kneeling at his feet, reaching for his cock. She unbuttoned his trousers and released his length, which still stood at attention, despite the release. She met his eyes, opened her mouth and extended her tongue, slipping it around the rim of his cock as if she wanted to taste him. It was his undoing. With a roar, he grasped her by the hair and hauled her to her feet, half shoving, half carrying her backward until she hit the wall. His mouth open, he attacked her lips, her cheek, her neck, devouring her, consuming her very essence until their two bodies fused into one. Her dress had fallen back down and he tore at the skirt, lifting it and one thigh to his waist, lowering his trousers enough to free his erection and plow into her. Oh God, yes! Fifteen years since he’d had a woman and it had never been so good. He slammed into her, his fingers digging into her flesh, his pelvis pumping forward and back as if his very life depended on it. In fact, he was sure the only thing that could have stopped him at that moment would have been death itself. If sex was a beast, then he was the devil, and nothing would sate him until he’d plumbed every inch of Cora Underhill. As the wall shook under the force of his thrusts, Cora made that same keening sound she’d made before and the need to satisfy her filtered into his consciousness. Reaching his hand around, he once again

pressed a finger into her arse and she nearly screamed, her body convulsing against his, her pussy and anus clamping down hard on his cock and his finger as her entire body shuddered. The magnificence of her climax brought on his own and he shot his load into her, thrusting upward while he held her tightly against him. It was a long orgasm and when it was through, he was sure of only one thing. Everything had changed.

**********************

Buy links:

Amazon http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B00BXJB182/ref=as_li_qf_sp_asin_il?e=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=9325&creativeASIN=B00BXJB182&linkCode=as2&tag=wwwreneeroser-20

Amazon UK: http://www.amazon.co.uk/The-Devil-Whiskey-Row-ebook/dp/B00BXJB182/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1364160194&sr=8-1 Barnes and Noble: http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/the-devil-of-whiskey-row-renee-rose/1114891270?ean=2940016388601

Renee Rose, best-selling erotic romance author, did not come out of the closet as a spanko until she published her spanking romance Betrothed. A lifelong writer, she has a B.A. in creative writing from Knox College, where she won the Davenport prize for both fiction and poetry, and the Lorraine Smith prize for literary criticism. She spent thirteen years in technical writing before she found a way to incorporate her deepest darkest spanking fantasies into fiction and express a part of her that longed to see the light. She is now passionate about supporting others in accepting and exploring their kink, whatever that may be. Visit her blog at http://www.reneeroseromance.com and join the conversation!

She can also be found on: Twitter, Facebook and Goodreads

Non sexual intimacy – An interview with Anastasia Vitsky

The-Way-Home

Those of you who have been following my blog, know that I started a mini series of posts on non-sexual intimacy a few weeks ago.  This has all been leading up to the interview with the author of the book that started all my reflections.  While it isn’t a secret that I love the sexual side effects that come from a well spanked bottom, I also believe that the intimacy involved in this type of act doesn’t always have to lead to sex.  I feel that non-sexual intimacy is an important part of any relationship whether the relationship is sexual or familial.

In my first post, I talked about male relationships, and used The Band of Brothers as my example.

In my second post, I explained what I need in an intimate relationship, and how spanking can sometimes fulfill some of those needs for me.

Now it’s time to meet the creator of the characters that epitomize the love and intimacy that I longed for.  Anastasia Vitsky, author of “The Way Home.”

Katherine:  Welcome, Ana. Thanks so much for taking the time to talk with me about Kat and Natalie and the intimacy in your story.  I loved it!  And I appreciate you giving me the chance to get to know you and them a little better. By the way, this is the first author interview I have ever done. Thanks so much for being my first interviewee. 🙂

Ana: Thanks, for having me, Katherine.  I’m happy to be your first interview.

Katherine:  I have been talking about intimacy, more specifically non sexual intimacy, for the past few weeks.  I believe that spankings as an intimate act, can be either sexual or non-sexual, depending on the relationship and timing.  What are your views on non-sexual intimacy – spanking, or otherwise?

Ana:  Sex is overrated. Don’t throw tomatoes (or perhaps I should say cucumbers) at me, but listen for a moment. We are constantly bombarded with the message that “sex sells”, but I refuse to believe that sex always sells all the time for all people. There are many times and people who crave the intimacy that cannot be brought by sex.

The intimacy of a non-sexual spanking is one of the most precious kind of intimacy possible. To truly love and mentor someone, what Mira in Desire in Any Language calls “agape love”, is the pinnacle of emotional connection.

Katherine: I love the idea of Agape love. It makes me think of a mother and her baby, their love is unconditional.

Katherine:   Speaking of unconditional love, did something happen between Natalie and her little brother’s births? (Both she and her mom seemed to have some sort of void to fill, and quickly connected with Kat.)

Did they experience some sort of loss that increased their need for the intimacy that they both receive from Kat? How was their connection so easily made?

Ana:  These are wonderfully insightful questions. I wish that I could answer them for you, but I don’t want to spoil it for readers who haven’t finished reading The Way Home. Let me instead give you the hint that the answer appears in chapter eight when Kat visits Natalie’s family for Thanksgiving.

(I actually wrote a post about Mama Jane’s connection with Kat, but it does contain the spoiler. )

Katherine:  Wow! Your real-life Mama Jane was amazing! I feel very warm inside right now, after reading about her unconditional gifts of love.  I’m so happy you found a way to thank her for her love, but to also share it with others. All your readers are recipients of her love also. Thanks for sharing her with us.

Katherine:  I find it very interesting that all the characters that show any depth of emotion are female. Is the purpose to promote some sort of feminist sensibilities, or is it to show the readers the different levels of intimacy that are possible? (Throughout the story, I saw the following intimate relationships; maternal, grandmother, sister, best friend, care taker, mentor, and disciplinarian. None of them showed an inkling of sexuality, yet they were all very intimate in their relationships)

Ana:  As a matter of fact, Natalie’s father serves as an emotional centerpiece to the story…but we won’t get to see the full depth until the sequel comes out on June 6th. There were so many difficulties for Natalie and Kat to work through in the first book that Natalie’s parents don’t play as much of a role yet. However, in the second book we will see that Curtis may not speak much but that he is most definitely head of the family.

The reason for the emphasis on female characters is simply that traditional stories tend to neglect stories of women in their own right. Especially in television and films, unless they are specifically marketed to a female audience, we have tend to have stories of men’s girlfriends, sex objects, lovers, mothers, and neighbors. Look at Big Bang Theory, for example. Men’s stories are great, but I’ve never been interested in following the majority. Women have rich and interesting lives, and I love to tell their stories.

Also, a practical reason is that I feel more comfortable writing female characters.

Katherine: Ooh, I can’t wait to see more from Curtis.

It really stinks that women are usually back up characters or sex objects in mainstream  shows. Women are so much better at showing their emotions without appearing weak. In fact, a good female empathizer is strong, capable, and can be trusted in difficult situations. I’m thankful that you are focusing on that, especially because I have daughters. I don’t want them to ever think they are incapable or undeserving of anything, just because they are females.

Katherine:  Did you have a special woman in your life that influenced you to create Kat or Natalie?  Their intimacy seems so real. They seem so connected that I have a hard time picturing them as just fictitious characters.

Ana:  People usually don’t believe me about this, but Kat and Natalie are not based on anyone in my real life. They’re real because they’ve lived in my head for almost as long as their relationship. I think it’s been thirteen years since I first wrote their story. By the way, I wouldn’t suggest to Kat that she’s fictional. She doesn’t like it. 🙂

Katherine: Oops, sorry about that, Kat. That spanking did seem pretty real.

And I guess it makes sense. If they have been with you for that long, they have been able to embody the personal relationship that you were desiring. And, as you explained, their relationship is real to them, so I will try to remember to call them “friends” and not “characters” from now on. Especially, if I can get some home baked cookies from one of your friends. chocolate chip? pleeeeease? 🙂

Katherine:  Ana, thank you so much for talking to me today. Your intimate writing inspires me to go outside my own comfort zone. I feel connected to you and the special women at the heart of  your stories. I love that you are confident enough to deviate a bit from mainstream, and write the real stories that make us think about our own relationships.   And I appreciate you helping me out with my first interview. Keep us posted when your next book comes out. You know I will be one of the first in line! And I will want to  do another interview, of course 🙂

Ana: I think it’s wonderful that you are exploring different ways of writing. There is a way of writing for each kind of writer, and sometimes what “deviates” from the norm is what makes our writing the most special. I hope that you will find your own with without trying to imitate anyone else. You have a neat voice and heart for writing, and it shows. Best of luck to you.

Katherine:  Thanks for the great advice, and for chatting with me.

_________________________________________________

Non sexual Intimacy post 2 – my needs

intimacy sunset pic

I have been pondering the thought of non-sexual intimacy, for a while now, because of two main events in my life.

  1. I read Anastasia Vitsky’s “The Way Home”, and absolutely fell in love with her characters and the intimate relationship that they had.
  2. My husband and I made friends with a real life “Disciplinarian” couple. (This is a story for another day. But it did influence my decision in this blog post series)

I know that spanking is a real part of my life. It’s not just something I read or fantasize about. It is in my very make-up, my soul. It’s an intimate act that I think about often.  This intimacy is what I long for; it’s why I felt so connected to the characters in Ana’s story. It’s also why I wanted to delve a little deeper into the emotional side of intimacy, hoping to share it with others.  I envisioned a three part miniseries about intimacy that would lead in to the interview with the author.

So I started with a blog post about non-sexual intimacy from the male side of things, relating to men in wartime situations, specifically the “Band of Brothers”.  I wanted to do my next post on female intimacy, including women from “A League of their Own”, “Pride and Prejudice”, Thelma and Louise”, etc…. But I just couldn’t feel a connection to the piece I was attempting to write. I realized that I was too infatuated with Kat and Natalie.  How can I possibly compare other intimate female relationships to theirs? Their relationship was perfectly imperfect, including all the emotions that come from a real intimate relationship.

I have to be honest, I got kind of depressed for a few days, because I couldn’t articulate how I felt. 

The truth is, I need intimacy in my life. I crave the intimacy that comes from a smile, words of affirmation, a good laugh, and from a much needed spanking.  This is what my muse was trying to tell me all along.  My desire to lead into an interview about a subject that I feel so strongly about (intimacy), was not just about the interview.  It was about my need to express WHY I loved these characters so much. It was borne of my desire to share the same intimacy that they felt in their story. (While I understand that these are fictitious characters, I believe that their needs are the same as mine.)

I found a ton of cool information about human intimacy, including the types, and stages, non-sexual, sexual… Since I am talking about non-sexual intimacy this time, I decided to keep it short and talk about the stages. Here is a quick recap.

There are five stages of intimacy (1 being lowest, 5 being highest).

1.  Safe communication – an example would be, chatting with the barista at Starbucks. There is not much of a risk of being rejected. In the south, we walk past another person and ask, “Hey, how are you doing?” (We really don’t care, and don’t even slow down for the answer.). It’s safe.

The next three include:

2.  Talking about other people’s opinions,

3.   Expressing our own opinions,

4.   And letting people know our feelings and emotions.

The vulnerability increases with each step, finally leading to the final stage.

5.   Our needs, our desires, our deepest emotions- This one involves the most trust.  If we can’t trust the other person not to hurt us with this information, we won’t give it to them.  Family and spouses gain this kind of intimate relationship, by proving that they will not hurt us.

So, where does that leave me?

And, where does spanking fit into all of this?

When I allow my husband to spank me, I am giving him my whole body, my mind, and my soul. I am trusting that he won’t hurt me physically or emotionally.  I am letting him see a vulnerability in me that I don’t share with others. My hopes, dreams, and psyche can be killed with one unkind word.  Yes, the act of receiving a spanking hurts, but through it, I release all of my previous tension and guilt and negativity.  Because of his firm, but loving attention, I am finally free to talk about what is really bothering me.  He listens and empathizes, which creates a feeling of safety in me. I feel loved, secure, and emotionally safe. I feel like I am a woman of worth with valid feelings and needs. After I have fully released all the emotions that were holding me down, I feel strong, relieved, loved. I feel at peace.

This is what the intimate act of spanking does for me.  It does not always include sex.  Sometimes, it doesn’t even include words.  It is nonverbal affirmation between my spouse and me, of love, security, intimacy, and most of all, trust.

This is why I fell in love with the main characters from “The Way Home”.  I don’t know if their relationship is sexual, and honestly, I don’t care.  I love the intimacy that they share.  They have built a relationship on trust and deep emotion that is proportionate to the fifth stage of human intimacy.  Their words and actions built a strong foundation in the emotional and stability that each of them needed. And in an imperfect world, their actions also hurt each other. That’s reality, even for fictitious characters.

Please join me on Sunday, March 24th. I will be chatting with Anastasia Vitsky about intimacy, relationships,   and of course, spankings from her new book, “The Way Home”.

Thanks for stopping by.

*Note- I have been trying to keep my posts short, so as not to overwhelm the readers. I know this means I have to cut a lot of big information sometimes. If you want me to expand on what I have written, please say so nicely in comment form. We can discuss a lot of this in further detail through the comments section. Or, if enough readers want me to gab on a little bit more, let me know. I love to converse, babble, yak, gossip…

🙂

The glory of Springtime

Image

I love spring! 70 degree weather, sunshine, working in the yard with hubby and the kids; it’s awesome!

I like donning my jog bra and sweat shorts and mowing the lawn. It’s such great exercise!.

It’s also fun to watch out of the corner of my eye as golfers drive past our back yard and do double takes.

Yes, Sir, I am the sexiest housewife in the neighborhood. What husband wouldn’t want be proud to see his wife working on the yard, sweat glistening down her chest and tight abs.

For twenty glorious minutes, I am the Mistress of Sexuality. I am QUEEN of the MILF’s!

At least I was, until spring’s companion made her wretched appearance. I had to stop my sexy, lawn mower pushing sashay, when I was overtaken by full body sneezes. My eyes watered, and I choked uncontrollably, contorting my body as I succumbed to the allergy attack of the Millennium. I ended this beautiful scene, by reaching into the waistband of my underwear, and pulled out the drenched tissues with which I wiped the snot from my face.

The golfers who had once been ogling, were now bent over in hysterics. One was kind of enough to offer to call paramedics.

“Doe, dank you,” I sputtered and wiped my nose again.

Have I mentioned how much I hate Spring?

The rider and the thoroughbred

**Disclaimer: The following post is metaphorical. I am not calling women animals. I am just using my inner poet to describe some of my feelings about my relationship. **

Thoroughbred

I am a young thoroughbred horse, borne of excellent lineage, with true potential for greatness.  But my mane is matted, and dirty, unkempt if you will.  My sleek, powerful lines, have yet to be formed through hard work and training.  My behavior is unruly, spirited, and sometimes, disrespectful.

I long for firm, loving guidance, to show me my boundaries.  I need to be trained and pushed to my limits, so I can be the best that I can be. Without this, I am unfulfilled, and depressed, which leads me to lash out against those I love.

A real horse training session is called “being broken”.  I do NOT need to be broken, but rather bent, manipulated, and formed.  The magnificent equine who has been broken in properly, will take her rider places, he has never been before. She will protect him, love him, and follow his orders. Her submission is a gift to her rider, which she can take back at a moment’s notice.  If her rider treats her poorly, or abuses her, she will most likely dump him on his rear end, and try to bite him.  She will attack when cornered.  She is not a coward, or a weak, or lesser being.  She has power in her, that when tapped into properly, can bring both her and her rider through the greatest of adventures.

The thoroughbred needs to be loved, and respected for her abilities.  She needs to be trusted to do her job.  And she needs to trust that her rider will care for her.  She is strong willed, and may not see the dangers lurking around her.

Her rider needs to keep her safe from the dangers of toxic environments, and sometimes needs to protect her from herself.  The rider’s job is to create and enforce these boundaries, to keep her safe, even from herself.  Sometimes, the most damage she can sustain is from her own actions.

The horse and his rider make a fierce partnership, which can fight against any evil in the world.  The rider needs his thoroughbred to make the longer journeys without becoming fatigued.  He uses his horse’s keen sense of direction to keep him on the right path. He shares her determination to finish the tasks at hand.  Without her, the rider is lost and empty. Directionless.

The thoroughbred needs to trust that her rider will always care for, and protect her.  She can do many great things by following his orders, and staying in the confines of his structure.  She feels beautiful when the rider lavishes his attention on her, grooming her to be the exquisite creature that was buried deep beneath her mangled mane and dirty coat.  When he affirms her with his words, and strokes her lovingly, she glows inside and out.  Without her rider, she is unkempt, rebellious, and does not exhibit her true beauty.

The thoroughbred and the rider need each other.  One is not better than the other. They just have different jobs, and different strengths and weaknesses.

Sometimes, I feel like the young thoroughbred. I want my rider to train me, and bring out the beauty and strength that lies just under my surface.

I promise I won’t bite.