Today’s another personal kind of post kind of day, and more of an update on our DD journey, since I haven’t post much lately. 🙂
We have kind of backed off on the spanking aspect of our spanking relationship for the past six months. And for anyone who really knows me, the spanking part is the best part.
Don’t get me wrong, I love having his leadership and support all the time. I like that he takes my advice, but makes the hard decisions himself.
We both agree, it’s good he is in charge of the money. OMG, my Kindle activity is only a small sign of how flighty I am when it comes to money matters.
“It was a huge sale, honey,” I say, pouting.
“But we don’t need 5 gallons of milk,” he replies.
“It was Buy two Get three free. Come on!”
“What about the extra ten bags of vegetables?” he reasons.
“BOGO,” I explain, proudly.
Sadly, it all went bad before I could use or give it all away.
That should have been another spanking moment, and will definitely stay in my “list of potential scenes for a DD book” later.
But for now…
We have stopped spanking.
And it makes me antsy, a little sad, and a little, hmmm, I don’t know… lonely?
I like being spanked by him. Even when it starts hurting. And man, has he come far from the first days of,
“You want me to do what? To your what?”
Followed by a few soft swats.
Yes, he has mastered the quick swat in the middle of the kitchen while noone is looking.
And he is quite good at the warm up over his lap, at nighttime.
And if I were being perfectly honest, he is superb at the “Nu uh, you’re not done yet, I’m going to keep spanking you until I’m done.” Aspect.
But we had to take a break for different reasons.
We finally had a good long talk, last week.
I explained to him how busy his work is keeping him; how much I miss him; and I was really honest about this- how much I need some of his attention.
Especially, THAT kind of attention.
Being held in his arms, tightly after a good, hard spanking.
Crying—not from the spanking. I don’t usually cry from the pain. But I do cry because of the intimacy, or because I know I have hurt him or done something I should have done better.
Loving the intimate feeling of being so close to him, and knowing this is something neither of us will ever do with another. It’s our one special thing that belongs only to us.
I miss that feeling. I miss my husband. I miss the intimacy. And I miss feeling cherished and “seen” by him.
So we talked last week. And it was really good to lay everything out for each other.
We acknowledged his busy schedule, and my needing to be a little more patient (just hold on a while longer. Work won’t be like this forever). And his needing to be “there” for me a bit more often. I liked the open communication and resolution.
We had a fantastic night of reconnecting, which led into a great week of productivity for both of us. He got a lot done at work, and wasn’t quite as stressed out. And I actually started working on some story ideas again.
Unfortunately, this has been a rough week for him at work- the most intense and stressful yet.
He came home last night with the scary anxiety and heart signs that worry me. (especially since his father died of a heart attack, only a few years older than he is now).
I told the kids I would have to snuggle with them later, so I could help Daddy get settled in upstairs. I raced around like a mad woman looking for the cord to the daggone eight hour diffuser, and found just the right essential oils to calm and let him chill for a while.
When I finished setting everything up, he coaxed me onto the bed next to him, and pulled me against his chest. Then he started lightly swatting my bottom. And then, he finished by snuggling me against him again, and said,
“I know you are overdue for some attention, but I don’t feel well right now. If I felt even a little bit better, I would help you with a discussion (his word for spanking, since he can’t say the “Sp” word :)). But I really need to rest.”
That’s when I realized, how seriously awesome this man was. His willingness to acknowledge both a need in me and a weakness in him, was a pretty cool thing.
I also realized that I inadvertently added more stress to the poor guy’s already overflowing “To-do” list.
<Work a ton of hours, never get caught up, answer phone calls all night, 4 am deployments, and don’t forget to spank the wife.>
He was glad I had been honest with him about my needs for attention, but he was also stressing out more because he wasn’t accomplishing all his “tasks”.
So I took the burden back off his shoulders, and told him I didn’t want my requests to add any more stress.
I thanked him so so so so much for just acknowledging my needs and desires.
And I also told him that I appreciated what he had just given me, and that was plenty.
I just wanted him to get some rest and feel better.
And guess what. I meant it. I didn’t need a spanking.
So he rested, and came downstairs this morning, ready to start another day of stressful work.
He gave me something much better than a spanking last night. I hope I can give him something just as wonderful.
Anyway, there’s our update on the spanking side of things.
Thanks for stopping by!
Hugs and blessings
It’s been a while since I posted. This one is personal and DD related 🙂
I am heading out for a morning run as soon as I post this.
- Not because I understand the wonderful endorphin rush that comes from exercise.
- Not because I understand my body’s needs for Vitamin D, and glorious, wonderful sunshine.
- Not because I want to tone my body and get back into shape after a few funny remarks, from my daughter, about looking pregnant in my fold over skirt. (My body type does not do well with fold over skirts. Alas, time to put the yoga pants on again ;))
Nope, I am going out for a run because my husband told me to.
I have been fighting depression (actually, it’s more like super highs, followed by tremendous lows. But that’s for another post – depression and the creative person) for over ten years now.
Sometimes it stays away, and I am at my lovely homeostasis – fast talking, high energy, hilarious jokes (only the right kind of person truly gets this humor, but that’s okay 🙂 ), confidence, exuberance, motivated, on target with all tasks for the day.
Then a low hits. These lows aren’t the typical, “I’m feeling blue” blahs. They are more like the deepest, darkest place you could ever go, and you think everyone hates you- most of all yourself. Every imperfection that you once found endearing, charming or beautiful, has now turned sour and ugly.
When I get to this place, I can’t even crawl back out. And hey, for a 5’2, 110 lb’er that has always been overlooked, but has thrived on competition and showing people they are wrong about the little, hyper gal, that’s saying something.
It takes special friends, who talk to me on the phone or internet. They bless me with words of love and affirmation. They pull me up, enough, until I can finally get to a ledge, catch my bearings, and pull myself out.
Sometimes, these waves last longer than others, and come more frequently.
My husband knows that I have been fighting something this past few months. He doesn’t understand it. But he makes sure not to turn his back from it.
We backed off on the spanking part of our relationship a month ago, because I was becoming more resentful, angry, and depressed because he did not have time to spank me. This has been a source of confliction for both of us for a while now.
He doesn’t like spanking, but does it every once I a while, because I have explained I want (and sometimes,) need it.
We didn’t want to resent each other, or our relationship, so we backed off.
Last week, he called me on his way to work.
After another failed attempt at getting myself motivated for a productive day, he took charge.
“Okay, here’s what is going to happen,” he said over the phone. “You are going to go for a run before 9 am. Then you will come back and write. If you can’t write at that point, do a quick clean-up. If your thoughts come back to you, go write, and clean later. This afternoon, you will go for a walk.”
Excuse me? (ok, this angered me a bit)
Now, being the highly submissive woman that I am (slight bit of sarcasm hinted at in the previous phrase), I immediately replied.
“That’s so grrrrrrrreat! Thank you sooooooo much for your suggestion. I was already planning on going for a run, so we MUST have been vibing off each other. Thanks!” (gush gush gush)
His reply was less gushy. “I know what you’re doing, and no, you don’t get to control this situation. You ARE going for a run, and it is because I am telling you to go.”
This led to a few more minutes of open conversation, where I was able to tell him how tired I was, and how sad I had felt that he had hurt my feelings earlier (it’s silly. He didn’t bring me home something from his business trip, but brought home stuffed animal ducks for our kids)
“I wanted a duuuuuuuuuck!” I sobbed.
We talked a bit more, and got everything resolved.
Now, he knows that I want him to bring me something from his trips, to let me know he was thinking of me- that I am cherished and loved and remembered.
Now, I know that he still leads our household, even though he is not spanking me. I also know that no matter how much I initially hate him telling me what to do:
I’ll do it.
Because I like it when he tells me to do something, especially if it makes me feel better.
I like submitting to him.
And I like exercising in the sun.
I am off for a run, because he called me this morning, and told me to.
Hugs and blessings ❤
It’s valentine’s Day, and I’m not sure if I’m going to be grumpy yet. Usually, something happens to make one of us get busy or distracted, so we end up not really doing much. LOL, every year, I tell myself not to get worked up if we don’t do anything, or if I have to plan out all the details myself. (I am quite awesome at planning, though, and can be very creative when coming up with romantic ways to be together) 🙂
This morning, my husband greeted me in the kitchen, with a big hug and, “Happy Valentine’s Day.”
It was nice to snuggle in his arms and have him all to myself for a few minutes.
He then turned our bodies, so we were shifted away from the counter.
“What are you—“
He bent me over slightly at the waist, and smacked the back of my black, yoga pants.
(Okay, my yoga pants don’t say “Spank Me” on the back, but they do say “Spank me” subliminally. I should wear them more often. 😉
Three more crisp, hard swats warmed me up faster than any “Happy Valentine’s Day” could have done.
“Thank you,” I purred up into his arms.
Our youngest child yelled down the stairs, “Mommy, is that you calling for us?”
(I had lost my voice for a week and a half, and had to resort to clapping for the kids, when I wanted their attention. :))
“No, kiddo,” My husband chuckled, and bent me over again, just a tad, and smacked my backside again. “That’s just me making my own noise. If mommy wanted you, it would sound like this.” He smacked the palms of his hands together, creating a loud, clapping sound.
He called up to them and showed them the difference between the thuddy sound that he made, followed by the clapping sound that mom made, a few more times.
I giggled quietly into his chest, as he finished his explanations.
“Okay,” both kids called down, and returned to their game.
“Happy Valentine’s Day,” I snuggled into my husband and promised to thank him more appropriately, later.
I still don’t know if we are going to do anything tonight, but I guess I won’t be grumpy. He’s already given me a pretty good gift.
The gift of play.
I stopped everything (I have the half ironed short on the bed to prove it) to write out this post quickly, because it hit me with such resounding clarity and confusion (hehe, in other words, I fully understand that I am confused, but know why)
There has been a really awesome conversation on spanking and age play in an online spanking group I am part of. It has opened up so many daggone questions for me.
And so many thoughts and so many realizations.
And once again- sooooooooo much confusion.
Anyway, the conversation was about the preferences in Age play (both for readers and real lifer’s), and there were a lot of different viewpoints.
Some like Age play, but only if sex is kept completely separate. (They called it clean or non-sexual AP)
Some like it, the darker and sexier the better. (I think I remember them calling it Dark AP)
There were people in the middle, who could take or leave certain aspects, as long as big things were present – like nurturing, caring, boundaries, guidance, love…
And then there were the people who wouldn’t touch AP with a ten foot pole.
My husband, the very vanilla (yet awesome, and I love him!) Head of our Household, can now, after two years, spank me, for pretty much any reason- YET
He still can’t say the word “Spank”. LOL, it is still called a discussion. And even when we are using a little hand on booty action for a sexual encounter, he can’t talk dirty or say anything that resembles the word “spank” or anything sounding like body parts.
He is in the “not with a ten foot pole” camp when it comes to Age play.
There are several factors to that:
He is still not comfortable playing sexually. And probably the biggest reason; we have young children. And we are both pretty tired from being “Mommy and Daddy”. The last thing we want to do is PLAY parental units.
At least, he feels that way, anyway.
I love the idea of being stroked on his lap, while he tells me I was such a good girl for ironing all his shirts, and cleaning up the kitchen. (If you know anything about me; just doing one of those tasks daily would put me in the VERY good girl category. 😉 )
Sometimes, I like the ideas of boundaries. More than just the HOH boundaries he instills. But maybe something like:
“You have been really grumpy the past few days, and have not been getting your chores done. You are going to go to bed at 9:30 pm for the rest of the week until you get caught up on some much needed rest.”
“Did you accomplish your goal of writing 1000 words, and clean up the kitchen, good girl?”
“Oh, you didn’t. Then I am going to give you some incentive. First, you will finish the kitchen clean up like you promised. Then you will write for one hour. No reading for you tonight, young lady. Not until you finish those tasks.”
“And one more thing, you will be doing it all with a very sore little bottom. Come here.”
So I can honestly say, the above is something I wouldn’t mind playing with every once in a while.
But here’s the biggest problem (besides hubby).
I don’t PLAY young.
I don’t ACT young.
I just am.
(hehe, I bet all the grammarists are having a field day with this one J )
Seriously, it is not in my makeup to act. I have never been a very good actress. (ask my parents and every teacher I ever had. I was the worst liar. I could not do it)
I can’t just ACT like a little girl (or probably, for me- a teenager) on a whim, because I want to play around a little with my pretend hubby/ daddy.
I can’t act – because I AM young and playful.
I like to skip and sing and act crazy. It’s who I am naturally. I like to climb trees and poles and ropes. And before my big head injury, ten years ago, I loved to do flips off from every single one of the above.
I love being energetic and silly and having no inner monologue (most of the time).
I love giggling and making indecent bodily function remarks.
I AM younger than my 40 something body shows.
It just comes naturally to me, much to the chagrin of my husband during dinner parties or when we eat out. (LOL, my character in my next book, paints a chocolate mustache on her face. I sent this picture to a few friends this past year. I think they thought it was funny. The wait staff at my favorite buffet still gives me weird looks, though. :))
Anyway, my biggest issue seems to be with the labeling, and the word “Play”. I don’t like being labeled. And I can’t play something that I already do naturally. So there’s issue number one.
Issue number two deals with sex.
I fall into the non sex for AP camp. For me, since all of this comes naturally and is NOT play:
I can’t have sex with someone I am looking up to for paternal love and guidance.
Because my mind would not be able to separate that.
So back to paternal love and guidance.
I have had crushes on so many older boys and men throughout my life. I would latch on to them as quickly as I could. I would flirt and brat a little, and maybe, make out a little.
I did not really want things ever to go that far.
Now that I have really started thinking about it, I think there is a possibility I was looking for older males to guide me and take care of me. I was looking for a father or brother figure. (That’s why – no sex).
So I must have been looking for a father figure to fill that void that my own father didn’t.
And now that I am married to a wonderful man, who leads me and spanks me, and has sex with me (when little people aren’t piled in our bed, or we aren’t both passed out from exhaustionJ ); I find that I am still yearning for a bit more.
But I am confused about this desire:
Am I actually looking for a father?
Or a big brother?
If my husband did ever agree to try it, would it be called Age Play?
How can I play something I already do naturally?
And more importantly, how do I fill that void if neither of us can take that step?
Okay, there’s my deep thoughts for the day. J I still have to finish that shirt. And little people will be calling for snacks soon!
Happy Monday ❤
Ok, I know I am not officially part of SRR’s Round Table Discussion. But I had so many thoughts on this, and really wanted to say something. (I just got really busy with life stuff; bikeathons, Roman diorama’s…) 🙂
Corinne Alexander posted a fantastic topic. Anal play and punishment.
Wow, I certainly have some conflicting views on this topic. (Sometimes it depends on the mood I am in)
But mostly, it depends on the wording.
The two most meaningful words for me in this discussion.
First of all, I’ll just say that I find anal play in stories I read, to be highly erotic and arousing.
Holy cow, it’s hot! Especially when done in that grey area between consent and non-consent. (Like I said, it depends on the mood I am in, and whether or not the MC actually enjoys the receiving.)
Don’t get me wrong, I like the whole “No, I don’t want to… Mmmm, well, okay, maybe… yes! Yes! Yes!” dynamic. I know it is grey. If the character is written as concluding with a wonderfully drawn out happy climax, then I like it.
I like consent.
It doesn’t have to be verbal. It can be done physically, like a shifting of the hips, or a groan of approval, or a POV shift to show her transition to enjoyment.
So that’s where I stand with the word “consent”.
Punishment might mean something very different for me than for others. And that’s okay. We all have our own terms and definitions.
Some talk about playful punishment and the façade of domination and humiliation. Now that, for me is HOT. Definitely hot.
I love the idea of that fine line between pretend and reality, where my HOH is reacting so harshly, I have to stop for a second and ask, “Are you actually mad at me?”
Once he has winked and affirmed that we are in fact playing, I’m good to go.
Remember, I’m a people pleaser. The thought of someone close to me actually being that angry with me, hurts far worse than any punishment ever could.
So play – is hot!
But we don’t play as often as I would like. 😦
I’m not in a BDSM or playful relationship.
Our relationship is more along the lines of Domestic Discipline. (I’m going to stop labeling us, because our relationship is evolving and shifting.)
My husband is my HOH- my leader, my protector, sometimes, my teacher.
Our real punishments are not done for play. They are done to teach, correct, and help me release the guilt over a transgression.
Play, fun and pleasure are not a part of it.
I have given my blanket consent, by agreeing to be in this relationship.
So there really is no safe word, and the consent is there.
I just have to trust that he won’t abuse my vulnerable position.
I can see very good teaching points in some anal punishments:
- Butt plug – holy cow, the humiliation and fear of being discovered, not to mention, the extreme discomfort… (Okay, we have not tried our set of plugs yet, but after trying some other penetration, I know I would not care for the feeling :))
- Ginger root – Okay, been there done that! Yikes! That sucker gets so hot! I’ll admit, I was also extremely aroused by this play. But I can see how this would be an excellent punishment.
I’m good with each of those.
But when the terms punishment and pleasure come together- that’s where I have to draw the line in my relationship.
When my HOH delivers a punishment, it is about loving direction and guidance. It is about firmly teaching a value, or imprinting a necessary consequence.
(I’m about to get a little graphic. Be forewarned)
If my husband were to punish me for something we had previously agreed on – let’s use overspending as an example – I would submit to it, trusting he was punishing me for my own good.
If he chose to have me wear a butt plug during the day as a reminder to not overspend, I would understand, and wriggle around in my very tight jeans, and regret that stupid mishap at the Disney store.
Hehe, no worries. 🙂
If he were to embarrass me, and cause me extreme discomfort through figging, once again, no worries. I believe that would be within my realm of acceptance for a punishment.
If he we to decide to have anal sex with me as part of my punishment…
In other words, part of my punishment would be the act of his large penis penetrating my very tight and hurting, bottom hole.
He were to become not only aroused by this act, but would also take pleasure in it, by climaxing…
Then in my mind, he would be taking pleasure in my punishment. He would be climaxing and enjoying hurting me.
My punishment is about learning and repenting.
My punishment should not give him pleasure.
If he takes pleasure from hurting me, then it will hurt me more than anything in the world.
Remember, I am a woman with high emotional needs.
So punishment with pleasure could not work for me without scarring me, and taking away something very important from our relationship.
I have to trust that he will impart wisdom and strength in his leadership of me.
I know my view, and definition and needs are different than everyone else’s. So I choose not to judge my friends and their fetish. Whatever turns them on, and is agreed upon- hey, I won’t judge. 🙂
But for me and my relationship, it all comes down to the wording and the moment.
Anal play – HOT!
Anal play in fiction, when done in a way that shows some form of consent? – Whoa, momma! Definitely hot!
Anal punishment in real life – not necessarily hot. But acknowledged as a good device.
Anal sex in real life punishment – NOT! Not hot for me, not acceptable in my relationship. Hurtful to me and the relationship.
Ok, there’s my take.
Please be kind with your responses. It’s okay to respectfully agree to disagree. But I feel pretty vulnerable right now, having been so open.
(I included the round table link at the top. There are a ton of other fantastic posts. Feel free to stop by and see the other viewpoints 🙂 )
Phew, things have been busy for the Deane household. Sorry, I’ve been kind of incognito for the past few weeks. But here’s a brief update 🙂
On the personal side:
I’ve finally gotten into a rhythm with the home and family stuff,
I celebrated my 16th anniversary with my husband a few weeks ago (and received the hardest, most awesome spanking EVER! Ok, more details another time, but suffice it to say it was much needed and well received 🙂 ).
On the writing side:
I’m 7/8 (or maybe even 13/15) of the way through my first draft of a light, fun, spanking romance.
This one is about a small town girl and a hot fireman. 🙂 Mmm, fireman
Eric might look something like this:
That one was HOT, but maybe a little too pretty. Thoughts? 🙂
or more likely, this:
This is proving to be a light, fun story with lots of mischief and lots of spankings. I hope to finish it (officially!) within the next month.
Next on tap after The Fireman Calendar are:
- Morgan and Oz’s story (as a sequel to The Coach’s Discipline)
- Cindy’s story (a sequel to The Winter Storm)
- A paranormal (tons of action! Hot, young slayer and a dominant shifter :)) I’m probably the most excited about this one! Paranormal – and these specific characters- hold a very special place in my heart.
Anyway, that’s what is going on around here. (I call it ‘not so – controlled chaos’).
But I wouldn’t have it any other way.
Stay in touch!
I’m coming out!
To my sisters!
There’s a very good chance this post is going to go all over the place. I have so much to share! It’s huge! It’s meaningful, and it’s a big deal to me.
So bear with me today. I promise I will try to smooth everything out, and make it easier to read. And next time, I will definitely keep it more succinct.
But today, here’s the no-holds barred update.
It’s 9:06 am, gluten free chocolate chip muffins are baking in the oven, and my kids are outside playing – happily- for the first time all week. They are sisters, and they love each other. They are close in physical and emotional age, and are absolutely each other’s BFF’s. Except for when they are together 24×7 for a whole summer.
I used to have something like that. Sisters, younger sisters, who adored me (and as I have recently found out…) looked up to me. Me! Never having much in the way of self confidence, that statement surprised and pleased me to no end. I have always loved and adored my little sisters.
(LOL, no, this isn’t what we look like. But we did have a ton of fun playing Charlie’s Angels, and even did a photo session together, using Angel poses.) 🙂
Even though we grew apart over the years (mostly because of geography), there was one thing that kept us together.
But life being as it is, brought small disagreements into the mix. They became larger due to timing issues and inability to hook up- even on the phone. Families were formed, creating an even bigger relationship gap.
And when I finally had something huge to share, with my own lifelong best friends, I had to lie about it.
How could I trust that they would understand and support my fetish, when we couldn’t honestly communicate about the smaller issues.
And when I had the biggest moment of my adult life (after marriage and kids, of course), could I tell them?
Could I tell them I was Katherine Deane, spanking romance author, DD’er, and follower of all my erotic minded friends?
Believe me, I tried.
I started with the elder of my two younger sisters, the woman known for her open mindedness.
And to her credit, she told me it wasn’t her cup of tea, but that she would supportive.
But thankfully, I had online friends who understood and supported me.
Three days ago, I celebrated my birthday.
And cried for most of it (and the preceding 24 hours).
I couldn’t figure out what was wrong with me.
My best (online) friend, Corinne, called me to wish me a happy birthday, and I bawled my eyes out.
I cried about my loneliness.
My utter craving for attention, and for REAL people to not only get me, but to accept me and like me.
I felt sad and alone because the people in my real life, the ones who live less than a mile away gave less love and birthday support than the online community of people (whom I don’t even know their real names or ages, or what they truly look like).
I was so utterly alone and so desperately wanted attention, I felt in that moment, that I would do anything to get it.
Luckily, a great phone call from my bff (whom I still have never met), and a long hard spanking from my husband; took the edge off.
I was able to function again.
And that’s when the most remarkable and awesome thing happened!
My sister, Evie, called to tell me that she finally understood.
Her husband had mentioned (ok, this guy must be highly intuitive!) that I must feel pretty lonely. (um, he said to my sister, almost verbatim what I expressed above.) Freaky, eh?
She understood my hesitancy to share with “real” people.
Here’s what happened when she tried to tell a friend about my writing.
( I warned you about the ramblings. sorry 🙂 )
She had befriended this nice woman who seemed an awful lot like me.
It turns out, Evie actually was excited about my new book coming out. She just didn’t know what to do with the information.
She started telling her new friend that her sister was an author, and that she was really excited about her new book.
When the friend asked what type of book it was, Evie was hit with a feeling of uncertainty.
So she explained that it was racier than a normal romance.
What followed was a huge condemning tirade about the evils of lust, and my sin over trying to lure people into coveting actions.
Evie was furious, and ended the conversation, while nicely telling the new friend off.
That’s when she called me yesterday.
She felt horrible. She had never known that I was living in fear of that kind of judgment.
She finally also understood, that her lack of true “on hand” support, made me feel just as judged.
She finally got it!
Even though I was slightly perturbed by the other woman’s reaction, I was so overjoyed by my sisters’ realization, that I let it go.
We celebrated together:
<The growth I have made, emotionally, over these past few years.
<The fact that I had finally found something that I not only enjoyed, but that I also had the potential to become good at. (LOL, grammar might not always be my forte though. I speak / write fast! )
to be a part of my life; how much I needed their support.
It was the most amazing conversation.
And the heavy, aching weight lifted from my chest.
I have also been thinking about bringing L (our littlest sister), into the mix. I have hated “lying” to her, and have missed her also.
Evie reminded me that L is a lot more open minded than I have given her credit for, and more importantly, that she misses our ‘three sister’ relationship.
So we invited her to read that “hot new book” by the brand new author that we both adore, and want to support.
(ok, there is a bit more to it than that, but I shortened above for the sake of reading. 🙂 )
I don’t know how she will react.
It will hurt if she reacts negatively.
But I want to give her a chance to get to know the real me.
They are my sisters.
My true REAL LIFE best friends.
And at the very least, I choose not to lie to them anymore about who I am.
So please wish me luck, send energy or hugs or prayers.
I am Katherine Deane, sexy spanking romance author, DD’er, and first and foremost,
one of three
I hope they will accept me.
Wish me luck!
I am still flying high from this morning’s impromptu session with hubby! 🙂
Right before we left for church, he asked me to come up to his office.
(hehe, his “office” is actually a long table with his computer, surrounding by every stuffed animal, Monster high doll, and My Little Pony item ever made)
“You haven’t done anything wrong,” he told me, “but I know you usually start having issues toward the end of the weekend. We are going to do a quick session to be proactive.”
I swallowed down the same little fluttery feeling I always get when he mentions a spanking.
“Ok. When? Where?” (this is a fine combination for me between wanting to act and be submissive, and not look like I am too excited at the prospect. Besides, sometimes, his hand hurts!)
“Here. Right now.”
I looked around at the overflowing piles of toys, and tried to figure out where he was going to spank me. Over a book shelf, with Rainbow Dash looking up at me?
He pressed me my hands into the wall, and bent me, so my bottom pressed outward.
He gave me about half a dozen swats to each side over my jeans, and stopped. He got a funny look on his face, and reached into my back pocket, and pulled out my daughter’s flat, metal charm.
I had forgotten I had put it in there, and had been so caught up in the moment, hadn’t realized that the swats seemed a little “off” on my right side.
“Oops.” I grinned.
“We should see if there’s an indentation on your booty later,” he said, grinning back at me before returning to his task.
Two minutes later (yes, it was a quickie), and it was over.
“Thank you, sir. I like it when you are proactive.” I snuggled into him for a quick hug.
The morning went great.
I felt nice and relaxed.
And yes, there was a mark from where the charm had been wacked into my backside. 🙂
I hope he decides to be proactive again.
And in the future, I will keep all items out of my back pockets.
Just in case 🙂
Here’s the metal charm!
I’m about to share a rather embarrassing moment, from last weekend.
This probably won’t instill a bunch of “Wow, this woman has such grace and integrity” thoughts in many, but it is the truth, and it gave me a new thought about our DD relationship.
It’s probably no surprise to hear that I am a bit of a “spanko”.
Yes, words like bare bottom, belt, paddle, squirming, thrashing, over the knee, howling, and spank, get me going worse than Casey McKay in a lingerie shop (with a BOGO free sale)!
I’ve also explained before, that I am in a Domestic Discipline relationship with my husband, because I like the boundaries and sometimes need them, to protect myself.
But I’ll be honest. Spanking still turns me on; it releases me emotionally and physically from stressors; and it brings my body to life.
So here’s my conundrum;
If my husband is my HOH; and he uses corporal punishment to express his displeasure or guide me in a certain way (AKA turning my booty red with a belt or paddle); this means that DD is about spanking, right?
I do something wrong – I get spanked.
I get crabby (because I forgot to eat lunch again), roll my eyes at him, and do something like accidentally dropping his clothes on the bedroom floor (Ok, he should have put them away! It really is his fault here) – I get spanked.
I act in a way that is not consistent with the expectations we have both agreed upon for my own self betterment and empowerment – I get spanked.
Not this past weekend.
Here’s a brief update. (I co-wrote and published my first book with my friends, Casey McKay and Renee Rose a few months ago)
Ever since then, I have had this barrage of story and blog ideas hit me – all at the same time – every week.
Leisurely runs, and showers have been great idea moments for me. But honestly, my best ideas, and when they come all at once, (seriously, ten of them at once!), have been:
I know what you’re thinking.
I’m going to H –E double tooth picks.
Believe me, I wish I could turn it off.
But there are these moments during a service where the pastor will say something, and I’ll go,
“Jackpot! That’s perfect for my blog!”
“Ooh, Thomas and Peter are great names for shape shifting brothers who spank their wives.”
So last week, one of the biggest services of all year; I sat down after the singing, and prepared to really focus.
Then a thought hit me.
I just wanted to write it down really quick, before I forgot. It would only take a minute or two.
Hubby patted my hand.
I shrugged him away, and tried to finish scribbling down the biggest idea of my life…
He took my hand.
Pulled the pen out of my fingers.
Took my book.
Set them all down on his lap.
Then placed his hand across my lap.
Ho – leee cow!
This was by far, the most dominating thing the man has done to me in a long time.
And he has tied me up, blind folded me, has tried several new bedroom acts (which I won’t mention here), and has thrashed my bottom to the other side of the moon and back.
This quiet, calm action…
Even though no one saw it, I was still overwhelmed with embarrassment by the public act.
I have written about characters whose faces blush, flush and turn beet red; but never truly understood the meaning behind these words until I felt my own face warm.
It wasn’t just my cheeks. My whole body flooded with heat. I was so mortified, so… I don’t know, the only word I can come up with is,
I felt so young and foolish; so… wow! (Obviously, articulation is not my forte in moments like this.)
It was an intense few minutes for me.
Then he squeezed my hand, and whispered to me,
“You’re here. Be. Here.”
Then he let me lean up against him, and snuggle during the rest of the service.
I liked that. It was such a great reminder of what we talked about several months earlier.
- To give of myself 100% in a moment.
- Not to go half bootied in one event, while thinking about something else.
I’ve incorporated this into my family time, my phone conversation time, and am trying to do a better job of making this work with my writing time.
But his point was, to give myself to that one moment, since I had already agreed to give myself to it.
He didn’t spank me, or swat me, or threaten me with a little hand to bottom action later.
It was much more subtle, and much more effective.
This also answered a question I have pondered for a while.
“Is DD just about the spanking?”
My answer, after last weekend is, “No.”
While I still like being spanked, and he does use this in many different forms (pleasure, maintenance, release, and punishment); it’s not the end all by all for our relationship.
There’s more to it than that.
But when he does take charge and put his foot down, boy has he got the whole “chastisement” thing down pat.
(And 90% of the time, I appreciate his leadership.)
On a good note, this was a great learning tool for both of us, and it led to another idea for a blog post!
Thank goodness! Since I can’t remember what my original idea was. And I can’t read my own chicken scratch.
It might say, “shots to spankdiddy” for all I know.
Next week, I’m leaving my notebook at home. It didn’t help anyway.
Ok, just for fun. I found a hilarious video on youtube about Mr. Bean in church. It is so stinking funny!
But I tried for fifteen minutes to get the doggone thing inserted and it is not working. So if you want to see it, you will have to go find it on your own.
Trust me, it’s hilarious!