Tag Archives: loved

The Big Brother fantasy – another personal musing :)

It’s time for another personal post. 🙂

This one is not sexual, and I already know that the word “fantasy” conjures up quite a different image than what I really want, but for lack of better words, and coffee, I’m going with it for now.

The other day, I replied on a post, that I wasn’t really into Stepbrother stories. (for the record, once again, I am a firm believer in “Your kink may not be mine, and that’s okay.”).

I got to thinking about it this morning while washing dishes.  “What is the big emotional factor behind me not getting into a kink that so many of my other friends do get into?”

It’s the Big Brother fantasy.

captain america

(I even figured out who I want to be my big brother, LOL. Yes, it is most definitely a fantasy. 😉 )

 

I have a big brother “fantasy”, and have for almost all my life.

No sex here. None whatsoever.

In my dreams and fantasies, I have always longed for a big brother.

A big brother that would stick up for me, kick bullies’ asses for me.

Cuss me out if I came home late, and forgot to call.

But wash my mouth out with soap if I dared to use the same words, LOL.

Hold me on his lap, and let me cry over the latest stupid drama (probably Facebook induced).

Remind me that I am a good person, and deserve the best in life.

Spank me over his knee, if I am not doing the best for myself.

 

overprotectove big brother

 

There’s plenty more. But I think you get the picture.

This isn’t all child and teenage based, though. It’s an adult wish as well.

As an adult, he would back off at times, but always be that safety net. Big Brother, the one I could always count on when I needed him.

He would probably die a million times, watching me make mistakes, but he would never turn his back on me, would never leave me. Would always love me.

My protector, my big brother would be there, because his main existence in life would be to be THERE for me. LOL, that’s a little egoistical and selfish, but hey, it’s my fantasy.

And here’s the thing, a real big brother would not ever have sexual feelings towards me, nor I toward him. We would love each other unconditionally, and give each other the strength to make it through life.

I would be the annoying, yet adorable, but always there for him, little sister.

He would be the Good Lord, this big jerk has pissed me off again, but he always has my back, big brother.

big brother picture

That’s my fantasy.

I’ve always tried to make it come true, by dating older or more mature guys. But it never quite turned out the way I planned.

What I portrayed as a need for sibling intimacy and connection, was always taken as sexual connection. Men never understood that.

I’ve always been drawn to the big brother type. That guy with a little hint of what I was looking for. But unfortunately, it confuses men. They take flirting as an invitation for sexual activity.

And to be honest, all I really want is the snuggles. And the safety net, And the bond.

And the spankings.

🙂

Psychologically, there might be something deeper. Like an Electra complex sort of thing. I don’t know. But that’s the fun thing about thinking, reading, talking and growing.

But for now, at least I have enough information to get going.

I have a Big Brother fantasy. I am probably the only woman in the world that feels that way.

LOL, which will make it very difficult to sell the idea of a brother  / sister relationship to the publishers. But, it’s still pretty in my mind.

Thanks for listening.

Happy spanks ❤

Sometimes, a gal just wants to be spanked!

Bad, naughty Zoot! You must spank her well. And then, spank me.

Bad, naughty Zoot!
You must spank her well.
And then, spank me.

Sometimes a gal just needs to be spanked.

Ok, I’m in one of THOSE moods again. I can’t really explain it.

I’m flighty, hyper, my attention won’t hold for 15 minutes, let alone long enough to finish the blog post I need to finish. My head is spinning with a gazillion (bajillion any better?) thoughts that are just out of my reach.  All I can think about right now, is the one thing that got me here to begin with.

Spanking

I’m having another day where I just can’t get IT out of my head. The sounds, the glorious feeling, the warmth, the heat, the connection with my spanker, and dare I say, the arousal that almost always comes from this.

I love spankings!

I love being spanked (by my husband. Don’t get me wrong. I have fantasized about other men taking me in hand before, but I know this is fantasy, and that my hubby would be hurt by me accepting another man’s attentions.  So that stays in the realm of fantasy.)

I stare longingly, while watching a session on spankingtube, living vicariously through another woman’s delightful bottom warming.

Sometimes, I watch school girls get spanked by head mistresses. It is fun, and kind of silly.  Sometimes, I watch men take their women over their knees for play.

Sometimes, I see a man discipline his wife for something like overspending or texting while driving.  (I can empathize and realistically envision this scenario, since I am one to overspend when I get stressed.)

Some of the scenes seem real, some are acted out.

Usually I don’t care. If the spanking is good and hard, I will give some leeway on acting skills.

I prefer the scenes that are just about the spanking, instead of showing private sexual encounters. I like sharing their spanking scene, but don’t want to share their further intimacy. Which is ironic, because I love READING about sex after spankings, and often times find myself so aroused after my own spankings that I initiate the further actions with my hubby.

The point is I love thinking about IT,

Seeing IT,

Hearing IT,

And most of all, feeling IT.

Watching a spanking video gives me the opportunity to receive most of my spanking input.  I watch, mesmerized as the woman’s bare bottom bounces up and down, reddening with each firm smack. I like it when she wiggles around and tries to escape, creating in me the vision of non-consensual punishment, and a need to escape.  It is delicious.

I get very aroused watching these, and picture myself in these scenes.  I can easily picture myself squealing and wiggling over my HOH’s lap, as he attacks my poor bottom.  I shudder, shimmy, whimper, and moan, while he continues his show of dominance over me, on my bare bottom.  (Sometimes, I get so aroused by visualizing a glorious OTK session.  I wake up hubby, so we can finish the next sequence of delightful events. He has not complained yet. 🙂)

But I love most of all, to put it all together into one big scene that my HOH and I take part in – our own spanking scene.  Sometimes, it is for discipline, sometimes for maintenance and role affirmation, and sometimes for fun.  To be perfectly honest, I will almost happily accept any of it.

I like to be spanked.

Our first role play scene involved hubby forcing me over his knee and paddling me into submission. I tried to escape the onslaught of his hard, fast hand. I bucked and bounced, I cried out, and begged him to stop.  His lap was so hard, his hand even harder. Again and again, he spanked, leaving no portion of my bottom and thighs untouched, choosing to sometimes attack the same spot. I howled and begged some more, as he threw his leg over my legs, and shushed me.

(I wanted him to call me “naughty”, and tell me to “take what I had coming to me like a good girl”. But alas, he wasn’t quite ready for that much acting. )

After a very long, intense session, that included his hand, a few wooden implements, and a belt, I finally lay in a heap over his lap- worn out, my sore bottom aching and hot, feeling loved and content and peaceful. (And completely aroused)

This is what spanking does for me.  I can fantasize about it, read it, watch it, listen to it, or receive it.  They all fill a void in me, and ground me, and help me connect with myself and my HOH.

And when I don’t receive any of this stimulation, I feel agitated, easily angered, tired, unfocused, and sometimes, even a little bit unloved.

Spanking brings me back to life somehow.

It invigorates me, and gives me a chance to be still and focus.

Most of all, it gives me a chance to revel in who I am – the real me.

My name is Katherine Deane.

I am a Spanko.

And right now, I could really use a good, long, bare bottom spanking.