Tag Archives: self worth

Thankfulness 2013- The Bully Effect

bullying xed out

Today’s post may be a little deeper than I had originally intended, but bear with me please. I want to talk about something that is important to me.

It’s the topic of bullying.

We hear about child bullying, and the devastating impact it has on its young victims.  But what we don’t often hear about is adult bullying.  It actually happens more often than we realize.

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Here are some general types of adult bullies:

(Taken from Bullyingstatistics.org)

  1.  Narcissistic Adult Bully – Self-centered and not sharing of empathy. Feels good about self when putting others down.
  2. Verbal Adult Bully– Uses sarcastic or demeaning language to dominate or humiliate someone. This can lead to emotional and psychological stress and / or depression.
  3. Impulsive Adult Bully – Spontaneous acts, and unplanned bullying due to their own personal stress.

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Bullying is so damaging to the soul.

I know because I was bullied by someone very close to me, as a child. And again, recently by an adult from the same social and professional circle.

It took me a long time to get over the pain and humiliation; the feeling of worthlessness, the embarrassment of knowing that I was not strong enough to confront these actions; the hopelessness that I had no value because of the demeaning and condemning treatment of this bully.

But I am posting today with a thankful heart, and a strong voice.

self worth woman green meadow

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  •  I am not worthless.
  •  I will not allow myself to be put down by someone else’s words.
  •  I am a woman of strength and value, and will choose to accept what comes into my heart.
  •  I choose whether to take unacceptable, degrading words from another; or to walk away – it is my choice, and this cannot be taken from me.
  •  I choose to believe in myself.
  •  And I choose to speak up.

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Bullying, no matter the form: Verbal, nonverbal, child, adult, man or woman – IS NOT ACCEPTABLE!

I am NOT thankful for the bullies in my life, but I am thankful for receiving the gift of growth from these events.

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self worth beach woman

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After taking time off from the groups I had been so afraid to reenter, I learned that I was stronger than I had ever given myself credit for.

I made friends– true friends who accept me for who I am (quirky flaws and all 🙂 ).

I learned that I have a voice, and I can make it heard.

I learned to set boundaries for acceptable and not acceptable behavior.

And finally, I learned not to be ashamed to ask for what I want or need.

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hope strength love

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Asking my husband for a stress relief spanking, is a lot easier now that I understand the validity of my needs.  Sometimes, it’s embarrassing to be vulnerable. But I have finally realized that vulnerability towards a loved one, especially my spouse, does not make me less of a woman.  It doesn’t define me.  And with the strength that I am slowly building, I am becoming more and more comfortable speaking my mind and voicing my concerns.

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I am thankful for the growth and healing – that has come from these painful events. I am thankful for the scars. They don’t define me. I define myself.

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stay strong no bullying

Thanks for listening!

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Here are a few more pics that I found. I hope you see one that you like.  If you have any other great pictures or links about this important topic, please share.

Blessings, love, and safe community!

-Katherine

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noone can make you feel inferior

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say out loud love and no bullying

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self-esteem lots of diff colors

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Update:

After I finished this post, I went online to search for a bit more about adult bullying.

Here are a few other interesting links.

http://www.bullyingstatistics.org/content/adult-bullying.html

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/sue-scheff/adult-bullying-harassment_b_4256954.html

http://www.pbs.org/thisemotionallife/topic/bullying/adult-bullying

http://shine.yahoo.com/healthy-living/adult-bullying-and-how-to-stop-it-.html

http://www.themercury.com.au/news/tasmania/today-tassie-takes-a-stand-wear-blue-and-say-no-to-bullying-and-add-your-name-to-the-list-below/story-fnj4f7k1-1226727938287

Here is a really cool charm bracelet that I found!

http://www.antibullyingpledge.com/